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Libra: Balance is unattainable! Perfection non-existent! Your love life will sizzle this summer if a certain Gemini overcomes his digital impairment. Don’t walk on wooden floor if you take the Pledge. Overtime is in your future, both at work, as well as in bed. Eat well to prepare. Practice lowering your force fields. Look for love at the end of your own wrist. Your lucky number is 69. Scorpio: You just have to STOP stinging yourself in the damn foot. You are the luckiest of the all Star Kids. “!noroM ouY ,redraH yrT” Learn to read backwards. Your Pluto lives with Walt Disney. If you hesitate when it counts, someone else will get the Eggo. Any motivation works in a storm. Just be nimble, just be quick, and sleep with that blond guy, Rick. Your lucky number is 1600. Sagittarius: We know you’re busy, quit yelling! The dollar sign enters Uranus. Now is no time to be betting the farm on anything. A room full of candles is to be avoided. Some mysterious cult called the Presbyterians is stalking you. Get a Cross pen. Buy T-Bonds and T-Cells. Some Virgo will help you with your laundry. Get on your knees & be very grateful. Your lucky number is 0. Capricorn: Ease it, don’t RAM it! Things will pan out. That old rogue, Neptune, will have his way with you. Learn to laugh at those who don’t understand you. (which is everybody, except other Caps) Buy on the rumors, leave town on the news. Buy a mountain and make sure you make your usual molehill out of it. Get a very expensive lawyer, now! Your lucky number is -3. Aquarius: On April 1st, a dark stranger with an EverReady battery will recharge you. Quit your job with Evian! Forget Venus! Only say yes at the end of the month. Your iron is hot, support your Union strikes. Avoid dawn like a vampire. Beware of El Nino! If you want a prince, kiss a frog, not a Frenchman. Pull a bank job, and go on her romantic get-away. Your lucky number is 666. Pisces: What is that smell? A pink-eyed man will give you very good advice on the 12th. Listen, but don’t touch! The 330 pounds of dimes in your garage meet the cash need! STAND STILL, and Godzilla won’t eat you! Fish children belong in a school. Time for you to swim upstream. Let your hairs down. Always remember to put the toilet seat down. You have NO lucky number. I think my prognostications are as valid as The United States Department of Defense’s are. Enjoy! AUTHOR: Lue Deck  TAGS: Entertainment astrology horoscope advice Love BOOKMARK: Digg it | Add to Del.ICIO | Add to FARK ACTIONS: Comment Save Print Register free acount 
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