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Eek-A-Mouse and The Eekanomics Band
Friday, January 30, 2004

The Chop Suey, Seattle, Washington
Saturday, January 31, 2004

Dantes, Portland, Oregon
"We No Like Dat" by Valeria Valiente

Baddy Baddy Mem Mem,
Me hangin in the W.C. with some mean men.
Mean and shady, they love the ladies
and I had to teach them-em,
That we no like dat, no we no like dat,
We da beganin and da end
And you crazy to act so improvident
No we no like dat, you rash man
De men take advantage of da women
Cuz of our sex ex. Oh our sex-ex
Forget dat we are da Mam yes
We da queens yes bing bing yes
So dont forget then you naughty man
No we no like dat, no we no like dat.

Those lyrics are my inspired rant against sexual exploitation in the backstage area of concerts and shows. Wait; let me take a step back, for I am jumping onto the exploitation bandwagon a bit too early. Let me start from the beganin.

I wrote these lyrics in the "sing-jaying/toasting/bingy boingy" style as done by the reggae master Eek-a-Mouse. Creating popular catchphrases such as "Biddy Biddy Beng Beng", "How are you feeling tonight?", "What are you smoking tonight?", and "Rude Boy Jamaican", the gigantic Jamaican born superstar carries plenty of weight and influence. He is physically, professionally and creatively, a powerful man who refers to himself in the third person (or rodent, in this case), for he is "The Mouse."

I met Jalawel, The Mouses tour manager, in the back of the Asian-themed music venue, The Chop Suey, located in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Jalawel kindly granted my request for an impromptu interview after I gushed about the stellar outdoor performance by Eek-a-Mouse on a gorgeous Sunday night at the 2003 Bumbershoot Festival at the Seattle Center last September. Jalawel loaded me with drink tickets and the advantageous "artist wristband."

As soon as I walked into the backstage green room, I knew I had fallen into dangerous territory. The Mouse immediately took a liking to my backside and made no ammends about telling me so.

I have been to many backstage and VIP areas in my lifetime. Being a Los Angeles native with music clubs as my playground, and having the tenacity and bravery to gain possession of the coveted backstage pass whenever possible, I understand that part of the excitement of this area is sexual tension and debauchery. That being said, I will put it on the record that I am not, nor ever will be, a groupie. A groupie is a term used for a person who hangs onto musicians, seeking autographs, sex, and a good story to share with friends about a hedonistic night of meeting their idols.