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Pinata Survival Island

zero stars

DVD

Directed by

David Hillenbrand

Scott Hillenbrand

Written by

David Hillenbrand

Scott Hillenbrand

Nicholas Brendon .... Kyle

Jaime Pressly .... Tina

Garrett Wang .... Paul

Eugene Byrd .... Doug

Kasey Fallo .... Monica

Nate Richert .... Jake

Lara Boyd Rhodes .... Lisa

Ed Gale .... Piata

Julia Mendoza .... Carmen

Daphne Duplaix .... Julie

Aeryk Egan .... Larry

Robert Tena .... Bob

Tressa DiFiglia .... Connie

Syante Villa .... Shaman

Manny Twofeathers .... Piata Maker

R

85 min

Pinata: Survival Island is the story of college students gone wild, and pinatas gone bad--pinatas with HEARTS, no less.

The story, convoluted as it is, goes something like this: Ancient Mayans or Aztecs or Incans or what have you were getting a little too evil for their own good, and thus the evil in the village was taken out of them and put into a pinata that remained undisturbed for several hundred or even thousand years. If the pinata ever broke, the evil within it would be unleashed.

And you know that that evil will not want to play canasta when it gets out.

All is going well, too...until the drunken college kids show up for a Cinco de Mayo party and scavenger hunt. Scavenging what, you ask? Why, it's perfectly obvious when you realize what kind of movie we're dealing with here--they're scavenging underwear.

It was, in retrospect, a pretty bad idea to tell these bloated-liver, underwear hunting, future cirrohsis carriers that there was free tequila hidden inside pinatas on an island where a demonic pinata is just waiting to be broken open so it can kill again.

You know the temptation to break open every single pinata they can find, including the evil one that looks like something out of a nasty horror movie, must have been and in fact WAS insurmountable. And of course, the killing begins in spades, with blood spattered on every flat surface around.