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Dear Diary,

        I know what it is like to be a child of a soldier. My father was a soldier for 20 years. He was in the United States Army. I noticed at a very young age that my father wasn't around that often. He had missed several birthdays, holidays and anniversaries. He missed out on me growing up. He basically watched me grow up in pictures. I remember playing softball and not seeing him in the stands cheering me on. Or how he couldn't make it to one of my school plays because he was in the field. Growing up I blamed him for this and as I grew into my teen years, I was angry. I desperately wanted my father around. And I felt that I was cheated out of having a father that I so badly needed and deserved. 

We travelled all the time. Basically about every three years we moved. If we didn't move to a different state, it was to a different country. I couldn't keep friends for long because by the time I had gotten to know them and become close, it was time for us to leave again. I was always the new girl in school. I got adjusted to one school and had to readjust to another in 2-3 years. Life for me wasn't bad though as far as being fortunate enough to have the necessities in life. The Army had provided the family full medical and dental care. But, as fortunate as I was in those aspects, I wasn't fortunate enough to have my father in my life.

Now that I am older and on my own, I realize that this isn't my father's fault. He chose this career. But he did what he thought was best to provide for a family. It took some time for me to realize that he missed us as much as we missed him. And how badly he wanted to be there for us as well. I realized that my father had to do what he had to do to make my mom's, my sister and my life a little better. My father is retired now, he retired when I was 16 years old. I thought at that point it was too late to build a close bond with my father. I have been proven wrong. I think his only regret is that he didn't get to have the time with my sister and I like he had wanted. But I know he doesn't regret serving his country. In fact, I think he misses it.