Hi
I've been struggling between the expectation that I should have a second child, the fact that I might regret not having one later on, the fact that it hasn't happened ANYWAY in the last two years, the fact that I'm now over 40 and probably left it too late and the strong feeling that I adore my 5 year old, enjoy his company and my life without the hassle of more kids!!!
I think the way you are looked at when you have one child is probably worse that if you say you can't have any. Its a mix of pity and accusation that you've created a lonely human being who has noone else!! Thank you for your article...I'll continue enjoying my beautiful little boy, having the house full of kids coming over to play and probably wait till it's REALLY too late to stop worrying!!
disagree/ happysibling 2008-09-07 21:50:53
I'm the youngest of four, the second youngest being 5 years older than me. I for one love having so many siblings (not that I've ever thought of 4 as a lot), and thoroughly enjoy seeing all my siblings at christmas and during the summer when they come for a visit. It makes it feel like the house isn't empty, and it's great to have people to look up to for advice and to shape my life around them. I have many friends who are only children, and are always telling me they wish they had siblings. I've never met an only child who was happy with it. I
Only child = perfect number/ Ali 2008-01-19 12:50:28
I loved your article. I am the mother of a dear "only child", and am just now embracing the notion that I don't have to have a second child. It's amazing how many people pity the only child's existence, when I think many people secretly would love to have been an only child. I have a brother I've never been close to, probably because my parents raised him that his needs were the only ones that matter. He is quite selfish and egotistical, he has a sibling, yet acts like the "spoiled only child" that people fret over. While the fantasy of having a playmate for my child, a lifelong friend might work in daydreams, the reality is that some or most adults do not cherish their siblings. And the main reason I don't want another one is because I'm so happy with my only child. I also love having time for my husband and myself when my child is asleep or being watched by someone else. I'd rather have a relaixing home life with enough time and attention for everyone, than be stressed out and be spread too thin with caring for more children than I feel I can handle. Also, it seems odd to me that families with more than one child don't have to justify why they have more than one; why then should parents of only children have to justify their reasons? Thanks for your great article!
