Hey you dope. Get ya-self a freakin' clue and try a different route! Common violators know the gig!
Anywho - hey this is Stacy saying "I told you so". You are a great writer and SHOULD be doingt his FULL-TIME. Start writing your Dave Barry-like Book (only you'll be 10,000 times funnier than him). Keep it up - you will get to where you were destined to be!