Pillars Of Salt - More Fractured History

Only recently has the Mount Perry Archeological Society been able to translate the scrolls found hidden inside hundreds of clay jars, hidden deep in the dark recesses of caves found by sheep herders on the upper slopes of our beloved Mount Perry. These scrolls tell the tale of two cities located right here in Swamp County many thousands of years ago. Apparently the two cities were called Zodom and Samora.

Zodom was located on the slopes of our beloved Mount Perry and Samora was located in what is now the swampland near Creepon Beach. Both were considered suburbs of Mount Perry itself. Unfortunately, both of these towns ran rampant with sin and debauchery.

Somewhere along the line, two officers from the Mount Perry Police Department were sent to the two towns with instructions to force the towns to observe a civil code of conduct, or be destroyed. They were further ordered to salvage any good people in the towns and send them off to safety on the slopes of Mount Perry.

It just so happened that in one of the towns, there lived a man called Lotsa and his rather extensive family. It seems, Lotsa was named as he was, because of his extensive family, he did indeed have lotsa children.

Lotsa was a good man of high moral character, even if there did seem to be an awful lot of children running about. The officers from the M. P. P. D. decided Lotsa and his family should be saved from the horrible death the rest of the people in the two towns were to experience.

In order to confirm their feelings, the two officers went to visit with Lotsa and his family. They had only been there a short time when Lotsa’s home was stormed by angry towns people.

The angry people demanded the two officers be handed over for punishment because of their opposition to the life style of the people of Zodom and Samora.

Naturally, Lotsa refused to hand them over. This made the towns people even angrier. In order to appease them, Lotsa agreed to turn two of his daughters over to the crowd to do with as they pleased, if they would only leave his guests alone.

The two officers from the M. P. P. D. drew their weapons and defended Lotsa’s home. They refused to let the two girls leave the house. They drove the angry crowd back with some well placed warning shots over their heads.

Once the crowd was gone, the two officers sat down with Lotsa and his family; they explained what they had in mind.

Lotsa and his family were to be spared; but only if they fled up Mount Perry to some land Lotsa owned, which had caves on it. Lotsa and his family were to hide deep in the caves until the destruction of both Zodom and Samora was complete.

They were further instructed not to look back, no matter what they heard going on behind them. The officers went on to explain that anyone who looked back would be instantly transformed into a pillar of salt. Lotsa and his family all agreed not to look back.

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That very evening, Lotsa and his entire family took flight from the city and raced up the slopes of Mount Perry toward the safety of the caves. Lotsa and the officers knew they would be safe in the caves because they were deep and dark places.

All through the night, Lotsa’s family moved as quickly as they could up the slope. By morning, they were nearly to the safety of the caves. Unfortunately, there was still some little way to go and they were all very tired.

It was at day break, the two officers released the might of the M. P. P. D. onto the two hapless towns. The earth shook and fire rained down from the sky, completely destroying both towns and all who lived there. The destruction was devastatingly complete.

Lotsa and his family resisted the temptation to look back as long as they could. Unfortunately, when there is something as loud as two towns being completely destroyed behind you, it’s kind of hard not to look. First one, then another, looked back at the sight of the destruction. They were instantly turned into pillars of salt.

When it was all over, the slope of Mount Perry was littered with hundreds of pillars of salt. It was after all, a very large family. Only Lotsa and two of his daughters made it safely to the cave.

The very next morning, Lotsa and his two daughters came out of the cave to survey what was left of their world. They found they were quite alone and assumed they were the only three people left on the face of the earth. Naturally, the three of them took on the responsibility of repopulating the world.

With a heavy heart Lotsa set about repopulating the world while at the same time writing hundreds of scrolls and hiding them in clay jars deep in the cave. He wanted to be sure the world would understand his actions at a later date.

It was only after both of his daughters were quite pregnant, when they happened into the town of Mount Perry and found they were not as alone as they thought they were. This was quite a shock to them as one might well imagine.

Unfortunately, no one believed Lotsa’s story about Zodom and Samora being destroyed because of their evil ways. No one wanted to be bothered to climb up the mountain and read the scrolls Lotsa had secreted in the clay jars. The two officers had been transferred to another location and could not be recalled to testify on Lotsa’s behalf.

The people of Mount Perry saw only Lotsa’s two pregnant daughters. Lotsa was immediately arrested, charged with child abuse, and put in jail.

This left the two pregnant girls to support themselves in any way they could. Neither of them had any money, skills, or assets to sell. This of course left the question of how they could get the money necessary to go on living with their soon to be born babies.

The only legacy Lotsa left behind was the ownership of the land where the caves were located. The land was quite barren except for the pillars of salt standing about.

The two girls opened the Mount Perry Salt Company and began selling salt to support themselves. In order to advertise their product they had to make up signs telling everyone what they had to offer.

They made up a sign saying, “Buy all or part of the Lotsa family pillars of salt.” Unfortunately, this was a bit much to put on a sign so they shortened it to “Lots for sale”. These signs persist all over the United States to this very day.

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