Ask Doc Kee

Hello Layla,

 

First and foremost, you started your question off with the most important key phrase, we talked privately about some people in the division.

 

In corporate America, when speaking privately with your boss whatever is said in that discussion should remain there because he was confident that he could trust you with his comments, regardless if they were positive or negative. In some cases, you are being tested to see if you can handle the information that you are being told, which if you prove to be a trusted employee more information will be shared with you as you climb the ladder.

 

You said that it was mentioned accidentally, but to your boss he feels that he was betrayed. In his mind, he may wonder what else has been released and hasnt made it back to him. He may begin to treat you on a need-to-know basis especially since he says he doesnt trust you. In corporate that is not a very good label to have.

 

The acquaintance must have repeated what was said, and we all know that what comes out originally is not what comes back after it circulates in the rumor mill. Have you asked your boss, what exactly was repeated? It doesnt make a difference if the information shared was negative or not...you have to be mindful of what is repeated. You were included in his circle and you blew an opportunity by being careless. Hint: Whenever you are talking with your immediate boss about people that you work with, those thoughts should be heard and forgotten quickly. NO one needs to know what is going on unless you feel uncomfortable. In that case, you have Human Resources to contact.

 

 What you should do is apologize several times and take your boss to lunch to continue apologizing. This will not work immediately but after awhile he should get the picture that you are truly sorry and did not intentionally plan on releasing the information. Next, I would explain to him that the information was informal and you didnt see the hurt in releasing the positive of the message to the acquaintance or you could pull in all of the people involved and apologize to all of them. By doing this, everyone would know that you feel sorry about releasing the information. Apologizing would start to build trust again on each end, but believe me he is not the only person that doesnt trust you--he was the only person that verbalized it. 

 

What you can do is keep any conversation with your boss light; meaning strictly work related (no office gossip). The day will come when he feels that he can share with you again. I encourage you to keep your nose clean.

 

FYI, Im surprised that your boss didnt write you up for violating Business code of conduct.

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