Light Of The Quasar: Loneliness

Gday mate! Uhbloody hell sorry I've always been uncomfortable with those words as a representation of my country. Sure I use them, but many Australians will react in one of two ways if that is said to them. They may laugh it off or go quiet and think youre an idiot. Id probably react with the former rather than the latter. This column is basically going to be about anything and everything that may be of interest. Anything goes.

That said, I'm from a small town in Victoria. That's the state Melbourne belongs to, for those who arent sure. I want to discuss my first topic -- something that I am pretty familiar with- loneliness. We all suffer from it sometime in our lives, but I want to talk about some of the situations where it occurs. Why am I familiar with this you ask?

Well I'll tell you even if you didnt ask, Im an only child. Now Im sure some people out there are thinking, Who cares. Im one too! but have they been left in a car for hours with nothing to do but imagine the world outside and talk to themselves? Have they spent hours with plastic toys creating worlds of their own? Or have they had their two best friends in the world leave their high school within months of each other? If they have or dealt with worse, then I thank them for I really dont know that many people who have experienced the same situations.

Loneliness, as an only child or anyone on their own, can sometimes make you feel as if youre the only person in the world. At times, having that world interrupted by outsiders can be frustrating. Its a funny situation because, on the one hand, its great that they are around to keep you company, but, on the other hand, they are stopping you from connecting with your own adventures. Ill give you an example. As a kid, my two cousins visited, something they very rarely did. I had all the toys lying around in the room and of course they came in and upset the strange harmony or strategic positioning of the various figures. Did I just let them have their fun, while I was planning World War 3? No way! A fight broke out. Needless to say, I won. Probably because I was the most angry and obsessed. Now imagine if we were three different countriesId probably be North Korea.

I think education can have a lot to do with loneliness, I've seen many people in this world not talk to one another simply because they believe are not on each others level. Hes/Shes so smart, I wont understand whats going on, or, This guy/girl doesnt even know where Melbourne is. I dont really think that it is such an impossible task for this kind of communication to be achieved; we just need to reach out.

For example the baker can tell the lawyer about how the cake mixture was not right: theres a conversation just by discussing work. Since were talking about education, lets look at a high school scenario. Youre the wonder brain of your class. You cant seem to talk to anyone else about the work because they either dont care or arent at the same level. The solution to this is not to stop talking and sit in the corner. Its to find that common ground. There is sure to be another person in that room who hates to eat their vegetables or likes to watch The Simpsons. The opening up to each other seems to be the hard part instead of name calling first and becoming friendly later.

I'm going to come a little full circle here, by mentioning writers loneliness. Its kind of similar to the only child scenario, not in the way that the only people you tend to argue with is your parents (story of my life), but that writers have their voice/imagination which is the equivalent of the childs made-up-world. You are in that world when writing is great; you love that no one is interfering with what you are writing... but what if someone wants to help out? That could be great too. This is where its tricky, should we share our little worlds or get lost in them by ourselves? In this case Id prefer the latter. Guess Im still a bit of an only child.

Copyright Matt Holt, 2004

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