Who cares how it happened, that’s one cool way to die!

I like the idea of death. Without it, we'd all be a lot worse off. It's like a giant eraser cleaning off a portion of the world’s slate ever day, making room for new drawings and words. Everybody's going to die; no free passes, no buying your way out of it…rich, poor, fat, thin, attractive, ugly, black, white, religious, heathens, we're all going down, it's just a matter of when, where and how.

That’s what seems to trouble most people, that pesky when, where and how business. Personally, I seem to dwell on the “how” most of all. If I had my way, I would prefer to die with a little bit of novelty. I once heard a story about a woman who was attending some kind of cannon firing exhibition at a castle somewhere, and was accidentally shot with a cannon ball. Most people hearing the story along side me seemed mortified, but my first thoughts were, “how the hell do you misfire a cannon and kill someone?”, immediately followed by, “Who cares how it happened, that’s one cool way to die!” People would talk about it forever! “You remember Chuck…he was the poor bastard impaled by a cannon ball on the bridge of Chambord Castle.” That’s the kind of thing that can really keep your name circulating in post-death conversations.

Going quickly would definitely be best, something you never see coming, if not a cannon ball (this is probably unlikely to happen twice), how about a piano falling or an explosion? One minute you’re walking down the street contemplating which beer goes best with a bacon cheeseburger, the next minute you’re running across a field with your boyhood dog Roscoe. That’s got to beat dying by other means. I think it would be terrible to die while exercising…on the up side, it would be terrifically ironic, but I don’t really like running or biking very much, it doesn’t seem fair that your last act on this planet would involve something you hated doing.

It would be nice to die doing something heroic. In my case, I’m not exactly sure how this would come about, I’m not the type of person to take a bullet for the president or run into a burning building. Perhaps my bloated corpse could serve as a flotation device for children during some kind of maritime disaster. This scenario seems to lack the panache I had in mind, but anything to help, right?

As far as where to die, that seems like a no brainier. I don’t necessarily want to be alone when my soul gets thrown out on the street, but I don’t really want a lot of people around either. I think the worst case scenario would be to suffer a heart attack on a commuter train. I only mention this, because I’ve seen a couple of people have a grabber while riding the rails, and it ain’t pretty. In fact, each instance has left me with the feeling that if it were me, I’d use every once of energy left in my body to pull myself to the bathroom and lock the door. Sure, no one is going to be able to revive me in there, but at least I will go knowing I did so quietly, without disrupting everyone else's morning. My biggest fear is dragging innocent by-standers into my mortal coil shaking. Unless, of course, it involves getting gored by a bull or some other act of buffoonery, then I’d just as soon it was witnessed by the masses…again insuring post-death mentions every time one of my acquaintances were to come across a bull or a water slide.

The when is the gotcha, that’s the big question no one and everyone wants to know. It would certainly help with planning things. A funeral can be much cheaper if planned in advance. It seems unethical to rake someone over the coals at such a painful time, but I guess it’s like any other business. Personally, I can see raising the prices on an old geezer who knew he was knocking on death’s door but refused to test drive a casket or put a few dollars down on a little plot of ground. But, there should be some kind of “we-never-saw-that-one-coming” rate for special cases. Like the cannon ball scenario, that person’s funeral should have been on the house. I would think it would be good publicity, like a lawyer working a high profile case pro bono…”if they can make a cannon ball victim presentable, think of what they can do for Uncle Hank!”

One thing is for certain, we’re all going face the grim reaper sooner or later, and it’s likely to be unpleasant. That having been said, it’s best to enjoy your trip around the dance floor, while you’re here. You can’t control the where, how or when you’re going to die…well, I guess you can, but that kind of takes all the mystery out of it, don’t you think? For most of us the circumstances of our deaths will be out of our hands, but the circumstances of our lives are patently in our hands, so I say swing for the fences. How you lived can also keep your name in post-death conversations, and you won’t even have to be hit with a cannon ball, although just between you and me, that’s still one wicked cool way to go.

Politics Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about. more Top 5 Conspiracy Theories Related to John F. Kennedy's Assassination 26.Aug 2011 Since just after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, conspiracy theories abou...read ISRAEL KEEPING GHADDAFI AFLOAT 10.Mar 2011 ...read Glen Beck Is NOT the Anti-Christ! 10.Mar 2011 Hurtful and fiery rhetoric is now media’s default setting! This slippery and m...read Recipe for A REVOLUTION! (10 easy steps - try not to get burned!) 28.Feb 2011 Rebellion is cooking in the air. People are mad as hell, and not going to take...read THE ASSANGE CASE. CIA INTERFERED WITH SWEDISH LEGAL PROCESSES EXTREME RIGHT POLITICS A DANGER TO EUROPEAN UNITY THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY. OUT OF TOUCH, OUT OF FOCUS, OUT OF CREDIBILITY AND HOPEFULLY, OUT OF THE DOOR Opinion World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case) EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today. more The Great OSCARS 2011 – or so it would seem 5.Mar 2011 So, how exciting......a morning off, the Academy Awards. I wish I could say the...read Top 7 Expensive Bordellos. Prostitution: Shakedown, Tier Down, and Priced Out 31.Jan 2011 According to a report of the Washington DC-based US Department of State, The Ph...read The Great Secret and Reason for the JFK Assassination 11.Oct 2010 The great question is why the great secret? On June 4 1963, President Kennedy s...read Don't Do it! The 3 Worst Times to Get Tattoos 4.Oct 2010 As a general rule, tattoos gotten after 2 am are a bad idea. But in a bigger pi...read

Travel Travel Warning 13 September 2010 - DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN 13.Sep 2010 TRAVELWISE has been watching the situation in Iran for some months in relation ...read more TRAVELWISE TRAVEL ADVISORY 5th June 2010. DO NOT TRAVEL TO ISRAEL. 5.Jun 2010 Given the recent incident whereby the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, used...read TRAVELWISE. 16 APRIL 2010. EUROPEAN TRAVEL ALTERNATIVES 16.Apr 2010 Travelwise issues the following advice in relation to cancelled flights to, fro...read TRAVELWISE 6 APRIL 2010. AUSTRALIAN AIR TRAVEL. THE BEST WAYS TO TRAVEL BY AIR IN AUSTRALIA. 5.Apr 2010 Regular readers might have seen and read the various advisory and no-fly notice...read TRAVELWISE 2 APRIL 2010. QANTAS. 2.Apr 2010 Some concerns have been raised in relation to some of the maintenance practices...read Sport No Payoff From the Playoffs $16.50 will Get Anyone in the Hall Mr McGwire Stupid Athlete Tricks Technology Think Big! Think the World's Largest International Trade Show Top 9 cool laptop accessories for laptop geeks Twittering: I'm not that interesting Cheers Jesus' Answering Machine Brown Couch or twelve midgets in the town square How To Be Happy Drugged Out Saturday Nights Muslim Decapitation: Bad, or Simply Misunderstood?