(Or trying to get it!)

In the interest of fair play, let’s all concede that men have tormented women since time began!  Why should half of our world’s population continue to be annoyed with no payback?  Let’s shine a light on all men’s faults…(here my lady says, “There’s no light big enough to shine on ALL men’s faults!”)

So, let’s examine a small portion of the problem. Here are the ten most irritating things men do during sex, or trying to get it:

10) Chesthairman wants to “go Dutch”, but still expects sex!

9) This would-be lover actually notches his bedpost…before!

8) This Boy Wonder doesn’t know that most women don’t appreciate cartoon underwear. (Slogans actually spoil her mood!)

7) Batman here wants to wear a costume and play his favorite Mariachi CD (Run! Run quickly!)

6) Tell him you are specific: “That’s no to request #2, # 6 & 7, and no, God no, no never ever no, no for request #9!”

5) This lothario, he’s moving way-way-way too fast! (“Put down your video camera, Big Fella…I’m not Paris Hilton!”)

4) This Romeo wants to talk restraints, but not birth control!  (He’ll use one…but not the other!)

3) This “gift to womanhood” insists that you talk to it!

2) IX-NAY on the ARZAN-TAY ELL-YAY!!!

And finally number one thing men do trying to get, or during sex:

1)   This moron wants his pets to watch! (Ladies, yours should be the ONLY p***y in the room!)

Well, these are only some of the irritating and annoying and petulant things men do, but since you’ve read this far, here are a few additions to our list:

a)   This idiot leaves immediately…or stays interminably…depending on your mood!

b)   This liar forgets to tell you that he’s bisexual! (Did he sleep with Adam before, or after you?”

c)    Some guys want an instant rating afterwards, on a scale of one to ten! And he’s always disappointed and disbelieving, when you don’t immediately answer, “You were a 1,000!”

d)    Oedipus here calls his mother right afterwards!

e)    This guy promises you a big bang, but only delivers a crab nebula!

Men know that we are irritating.  We’re sorry!  We’re trying to change!

Men, we have to kick up our game a notch!  To keep pace with the ever-present empowerment of today’s woman, we need to download some updates on our past behavior!  The wise take heed, the foolish continue on their merry and ignorant way!

Always remember to give your women better than they deserve! 

It’s a secret for both of you that has worked since time began! 

Double true!

Word up! 

Peace out!