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“…He shall, from time to time, give to Our Nation information on the state of Funny and Laughter, and he shall recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient…” March of the Penguins, begat the copycat: March of the Politicians, wherein they have to waddle 70 miles to Congress to propagate their lies! When politicos start speechify-ing, it’s the American equivalent of “The running of the bullsh**t!” …It’s the Credibility, Stupid! Iraq builds its first theme park named: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! What the Iraqi’s don’t understand is that one of the usual side effects of Democracy is…people like George W. Bush Jr! Not only does President Bush have physical
health issues, some would say Junior also has mental health issues. It’s
a sad note, but it looks like even Danny Quayle appears smarter
than George Bush Jr! Bush is like a mixture of the Grim
Reaper and Pinocchio. I know that George Bush Jr. is not Richard
Nixon! But you gotta admit, The bravest thing our Bush Jr. has done lately was, while in LA, he had all the freeway traffic stopped for more than two hours! Hey, doesn’t he understand that our drivers HAVE GUNS out here? Researchers finally found one statistic in which Bush Jr. has exceeded Bush Sr. It seems lots more people really hate Dubya! Democracy does have side effects. But, just swallow a Florida election before bedtime, and call the Supreme Court in the morning! (Hey: you NSA surveillance guys: I hope
you know…these are just jokes!) Oh, and I suppose that John Kerry would have jumped in his Swift Boat, picked up Al Gore, and then, that day, raced down to New Orleans? Bush names former FEMA head, Mikie Brown to run AMTRAK! NASA says a new trip to the moon will cost more than 110 billion dollars! Who decides whether we go back to the Moon, or fix New Orleans? The quicker a Katrina Commission is appointed and convenes, the quicker the current administration hopes we’ll all forget The 911 Commission! Dick Cheney goes on secluded hunting trip. He’s trying to bag a new alibi! Our erstwhile Vice President Cheney seems to be cleverly alternating his outrageously incorrect public statements with well timed fake heart attacks!
Oil Co’s CEO’s testify to Congress. There were more lies told there, than when the baseball players testified about steroids! Allen Greenspan attended a Halloween party
disguised as the budget deficit! Jailbird NY Times writer Judith Miller apparently spent the early, desperate years of her career bikini waxing Eric Estrada! Princess Charles and Seabiscuit went home. Hey, when these two royal pains in the butt visit, it actually is a royal pain in the butt! Terror group Hamas is starting it’s own TV station. New schedule really has a BANG! The AM Show: Good Morning Palestine! Sponsored by The Electrically AB Belt, which can double for suicide bombings! Miss America Pageant saved this year by new
sponsors: California prepares to execute a 76-year-old man. He had the choice of the execution, or being locked up in a 5 foot by 9-foot jail cell for ten years with Bea Arthur! He wanted the execution! Bizarre trivia: What’s Bea Arthur’s favorite song?? Fifty four percent of lawyers say they
would not represent a terrorist. It is the year 5766, using the Jewish
calendar, but it’s been marked down In my heart, I was born Jewish. I, too stand for Israel! In the name of Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, and Phil Silverstein…um, Phil Silvers! Scientists officially extend the length of
our day by adding one leap second to The Greenwich Mean Time Atomic clock! Star Jones & Kirtstie Alley have lost so
much weight; Earth’s planetary orbit has developed a wobble! M&M’s new Amish CD, as predicted, has failed miserably! Courtney Love’s third rule of pharmacology
is: If you think that “sex is power”, then I suggest that you’re absolutely plugging into the WRONG outlet! Just out now: New extreme ultra King bed is 68 inches wide! Just in case you ever wanted to sleep with Shaquille O’Neil, and or Roseanne Barr! Obese people, after getting thin, will find
a change in their sex life. Neophyte celebrity Paris Hilton is involved
in a minor fender bender. Seventy five hundred dollars worth of bull semen stolen from Maryland farm. Has anybody checked Monica Lewinky’s whereabouts? Porn King Larry Flynt is still optimistic after all these years. Now, he’s organizing nationwide for his Million-Slut March! New study says the average American has 16
hours of sex during their lifetime. I don’t know about you, but I think I’m
out of minutes. This Week in Gay History: 1973, three of Ellen’s writers were born! Tip for next year’s holidays: Fruitcakes DON’T GIVE Fruitcakes! Next year there will be four new gay cable
TV channels: Remember: Poor Lue says: “ LIFE is just a metaphor for what’s happening to you!” AUTHOR: Lue Deck  TAGS: Entertainment humor people world Life america war Love Family Iraq BOOKMARK: Digg it | Add to Del.ICIO | Add to FARK ACTIONS: Comment Save Print Register free acount 
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