Careers or Children - Why Decide?

When I decided that I wanted a career, I was a mother of two children and pregnant.  I was also married.  My decision was a hard one.  I had been studying by correspondence in a very limited course that I was simply not interested in.  And of course, there wasn't any support coming from my family because most of my sisters and my mother are firmly stay-at-home mothers. I was living to pursue a "dream."  My friends were surprised, as well as skeptical. My husband suffers from depression and it was becoming clear that it would be some time before he would be able to do the work needed to get a career of his own.

 

Ever since I was a young child, I've been fascinated by stories, poetry, hell, word-smithing of any kind.   I always wanted to write or do something related to that.  I had to work against every possible obstacle, it seems, (even my

own inner saboteur) to gather the courage to begin at a new university.  This was the farthest I'd ever been from my family, my network of support.  I chose to leave that behind, temporarily, but of course, I brought my husband and children with me to start on my new path. 

 

 I am working towards achieving my dream.  I am that woman who sits in the back of a lecture theatre, breastfeeding my baby, and jotting down notes at the same time.  What's more, I enjoy the challenge. 

 

Now my children are safely tucked away in child care while I do lectures and hit the books, but I still juggle my personal writing, my motherly duties (which includes having FUN with my children), and completing a full time university degree.  My study and writing time comes after the children go to bed at night.

 

Do my children suffer because their mother chooses to study and write?  No way!  They are seeing their mother happy, fulfilled, and working her way towards her goal.  Not only are they getting the benefits of having a mother who spends quality time with them, but they also have to opportunity to see me as a role model, not just a super-mom. 

           

Forget the super-mom image.  You don't have to be a super-hero to be a good mother.  You can also enjoy a career.  In fact, it's a good idea to take some time for yourself every day, even if it is that indulgent twenty minute bath once everyone else is asleep.  Being a good mother and a good employee is within your grasp.  Forget the guilt! You need to care for yourself if you are going to bring up healthy, well-adjusted children.  That means setting goals for yourself and working towards your dreams.

 

            Go for it!

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