Ode to Generation E

If you’re 18 to 35 years old, WORD UP! By your terms, I may be an old geezer now, but I’d like to show you five ways to beat 'The Man.' My only proviso: After you see this, wait 72 hours before you decide if this is a load of crap! Is it a deal, you arrogant little, snot-heads?

Pursuant to the aforementioned contract between us, I willingly disclose the following: Digest this 411, the same way you want others to relate to you. Roosters still come home to roost! And lastly, if 'The Man' gets on me for telling you this, I’m gonna deny it all. Hey, I don’t even know you!

OK, catch a breath, here we go: Like the printing press, the assembly line, and making love in a car prove, history shows us great ideas will still work today. That’s because some ideas are, were, and will always be great. If you can keep yo’ attitude in trim, there are some classic, surefire behavior modes that will help you to blast some air over society’s walls. Hey, feces foot! I’m talking about better pay, better sex, and better karma. Listen up!

First, learn and re-learn these phrases, and when to use them: May I help you? Pardon me. Please. Thank you. Excuse me. You’re welcome. You go first...

I’ve watched business and social settings evolve and de-evolve on moments that pivoted in favor of those that used these phrases. Practice with them until you’re as smooth as a wireless mouse, then sit in the bushes, wait patiently to ambush the idiots that will not, or cannot, be as adept and graceful as you. Stick it like a pin. Manners. Nail it. Like, get dialed in, dude. Manners.

Second, if you dress like a pig, you’ll get a job only a pig wants to do. I am no example - just keep it nice and clean. See Elvis Costello, James Bond, or Chris Rock. If you want to make more money than your garbage man, keep your damn tattoos and piercings under your shirts. These are not negotiable, dawg. Dress WELL.

Third, pick a faith, any faith will do. You could pick Moses, Jesus, Mohamed, Buddha, Vishnu, or even the guy with the rainbow colored hair. Pick a faith and learn it until you find comfort. Faith is like a muscle - use it or lose it! You need faith in yourself to get past the barf that life will pile on you. Faith in a higher source helps you to build faith in the nutty things you believe. Until you believe in you, have faith in something.

Fourth, Read a book or two, you numb-nut. Try How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Art of War, or The One-Minute Manager. Have you ever felt alienated from society? Read Stranger in a Strange Land. There’s more out there than you’ve ever dreamed of, Horatio. Get smart! Fertile minds do copulate. READ.

[BB]

Fifth, The American colonial who laid his cape over a puddle for a woman not only made a great impression, he probably got some. Chivalry isn’t dead; Chauvinism just had it locked in the cellar. Never send a boy to do a man’s job. If you are lucky enough to land a babe, give her an orgasm ratio with you - of seven to one. Now, that’s a force multiplier. Give better than you get. Do you wanna be a sexual hero? Well, do ya, punk? If she really wants to make love to you, this should close the deal. What goes around comes around! Respect! Young, old, and especially the eldest: Be NICE to the ladies.

Buddha said: “ WHEN a student is ready, a teacher will appear!” Now, who the heck am I to tell you this? Well, I’ve circumnavigated the planet three times and performed in 39 countries. In conclusion, I remind you that these behavior modes bring you uncanny results, right away. It works! Manners, Dress Nice, Have faith in Something, Read, and Respect women. Don’t freak out, dude. Think of them as a help file. Do good to get good! Maybe, someday, when you go by me with that music blaring, you will have learned and might say: “ Pardon me, please, you go first. You’re welcome. Thank you! ”

Remember: Friends don’t let friends go Goth! Not that it will help.

Now, go skateboard or hacky-sack something…you’re bothering me.

Politics Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about. more Top 5 Conspiracy Theories Related to John F. Kennedy's Assassination 26.Aug 2011 Since just after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, conspiracy theories abou...read ISRAEL KEEPING GHADDAFI AFLOAT 10.Mar 2011 ...read Glen Beck Is NOT the Anti-Christ! 10.Mar 2011 Hurtful and fiery rhetoric is now media’s default setting! This slippery and m...read Recipe for A REVOLUTION! (10 easy steps - try not to get burned!) 28.Feb 2011 Rebellion is cooking in the air. People are mad as hell, and not going to take...read THE ASSANGE CASE. CIA INTERFERED WITH SWEDISH LEGAL PROCESSES EXTREME RIGHT POLITICS A DANGER TO EUROPEAN UNITY THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY. OUT OF TOUCH, OUT OF FOCUS, OUT OF CREDIBILITY AND HOPEFULLY, OUT OF THE DOOR Opinion World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case) EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today. more The Great OSCARS 2011 – or so it would seem 5.Mar 2011 So, how exciting......a morning off, the Academy Awards. I wish I could say the...read Top 7 Expensive Bordellos. Prostitution: Shakedown, Tier Down, and Priced Out 31.Jan 2011 According to a report of the Washington DC-based US Department of State, The Ph...read The Great Secret and Reason for the JFK Assassination 11.Oct 2010 The great question is why the great secret? On June 4 1963, President Kennedy s...read Don't Do it! The 3 Worst Times to Get Tattoos 4.Oct 2010 As a general rule, tattoos gotten after 2 am are a bad idea. But in a bigger pi...read

Travel Travel Warning 13 September 2010 - DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN 13.Sep 2010 TRAVELWISE has been watching the situation in Iran for some months in relation ...read more TRAVELWISE TRAVEL ADVISORY 5th June 2010. DO NOT TRAVEL TO ISRAEL. 5.Jun 2010 Given the recent incident whereby the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, used...read TRAVELWISE. 16 APRIL 2010. EUROPEAN TRAVEL ALTERNATIVES 16.Apr 2010 Travelwise issues the following advice in relation to cancelled flights to, fro...read TRAVELWISE 6 APRIL 2010. AUSTRALIAN AIR TRAVEL. THE BEST WAYS TO TRAVEL BY AIR IN AUSTRALIA. 5.Apr 2010 Regular readers might have seen and read the various advisory and no-fly notice...read TRAVELWISE 2 APRIL 2010. QANTAS. 2.Apr 2010 Some concerns have been raised in relation to some of the maintenance practices...read Sport No Payoff From the Playoffs $16.50 will Get Anyone in the Hall Mr McGwire Stupid Athlete Tricks Technology Think Big! Think the World's Largest International Trade Show Top 9 cool laptop accessories for laptop geeks Twittering: I'm not that interesting Cheers Jesus' Answering Machine Brown Couch or twelve midgets in the town square How To Be Happy Drugged Out Saturday Nights Muslim Decapitation: Bad, or Simply Misunderstood?