Fun With Ego-Surfing

Useless websites seem to flourish online. There are sites about anything in the world and there sites about absolutely nothing in the world. Really. Check out www.nothing.com if you dont believe me. I'd send you to www.wholelottanothing.org but as it turns out, that is a blog that is quite clearly filled with SOMETHING. Nothing.com has something too but it clearly has less something than wholelottanothing.com. The something found at nothing.com is about nothing and the something at wholelottanothing.org is about something other than nothing, which is really something when you think about it. But I didnt come here to make so much ado about nothing. I came here to discuss something I found online that is nothingbut a fun & complete waste of time.

Everyone is familiar with the internet search engine, Google. Recently I found an odd site called Googlism. While it is not affiliated with or owned by Google in any way, it does in fact use the content found within a Google search and interprets its meaning in order to determine what Google thinks of a certain subject. Some of the most popular Googlism searches include Bill Gates, George Bush, Brooke Burke, Poker, Coke, and of courseSEX.

I can only assume that Googlism takes content from the most often hit websites and creates statements about the subject. As an example, if you were to type in the name of movie actorsay, Bruce Campbell, some of the results would be

Googlism for: bruce campbell

bruce campbell is cool
bruce campbell is the greatest actor of all time
bruce campbell is so cool
bruce campbell is probably best known for the evil dead movies
bruce campbell is an actor
bruce campbell is indeed cool
bruce campbell is such a great actor i've decided he needs more exposure
bruce campbell is really really cool

Obviously, Bruce Campbells fans could use a thesaurus, but you get the idea. When Googlism has no information about a person, place, or thing, the message simply reads
[BB]
Sorry, Google doesn't know enough about (search subject) yet.

OOH! Thats gotta hurt!

These statements can be quite funny to read, especially when you realize that theyve been interpreted and not necessarily taken verbatim from popular sites. Sticking with Bruce Campbells Googlism results

bruce campbell is north america's most infamous cult movie star
bruce campbell is not a movie star
bruce campbell is my hero
bruce campbell is my lord and master i am his acolyte he can do no wrong
bruce campbell is the man
bruce campbell is god
bruce campbell is more than accessible
bruce campbell is off limits
bruce campbell is way too popular
bruce campbell is still unknown

The results take on completely new and often confusing meanings if you are unaware of the fact that there may be OTHER Bruce Campbells out there with websites.

bruce campbell is a versatile and exciting actor with many different skills in different fields as detailed below

bruce campbell is a teacher in marysville

bruce campbell is a teacher who has developed a nationally acclaimed classroom model based upon howard gardner's theory of multiple intelligences

bruce campbell is getting higher
bruce campbell is named lion of the year
bruce campbell is associate professor of music theory
bruce campbell is director of the canadian center for policy alternatives
bruce campbell is an independent scholar and adjunct assistant professor of history at old dominion university
bruce campbell is an alumnus of the uri physics department
bruce campbell is resting up after a hard week of fighting french imperialism
bruce campbell is in pain

Hey! I Am NOT Bald! And perhaps my favorite entry

bruce campbell is suddenly and inexplicably perceived as having a completely bald head

Now I had no intention of making this a dissertation about Bruce Campbell nor did I intend to make fun of him, but I am not worried. Why?

bruce campbell is an ordinary guy but with an extraordinary job and sense of humor

bruce campbell is a man who is unafraid to laugh at himself

This site represents one more way that the internet can entertain the masses, help us indulge in our pop-culture cravings, and completely prevent us from getting any work done at the office. I cannot say that Googlism has any real value other than entertainment value, but I can say that it is one of my favorite stops on the information super-highway.
[BB]
Since its creation in 2002 there have been an estimated 35,000 unique requests per day for new Googlisms. The huge amount of traffic was such a taxing demand for the REAL Google, in January 2004 Google took action to prevent new Googlism searches to go through their engines. This was mostly to make searching the worlds most popular search engine easier for people wanting actual information. Restrictions aside the site is still up and running and it has a ton of ridiculously enjoyable content to sift through.

Stay at this site long enough and youll find yourself ego-surfing. Ego-surfing is when people type their own name into a search engine and see what pops up. I do this often mostly to see how my own website is doing in various searches. My own vanity is only part of the equation. It is this practice that led me another Andy Martello in Ohio and one in the UK playing on a lower level professional soccer team. Thankfully, I am the most famous Andy Martello in the World Wide Web!

Inevitably, I had to do a Googlism on myself. I wasnt expecting much. The site wasnt truly active for more than a couple years and it seemed only the most famous people & places had been researched. However, my site has been up for a long time and generates over 250,000 hits per year so I took a chance and decided to see what Google thinks about me. Much to my surprise, I found out that Google does think a little something nice about me.

Googlism for: andy martello

andy martello is always ready
andy martello is a performing artist who happens to be a fine juggler
andy martello is a talented comedian and juggler with a passion for this fine melody

I can assume the melody being referenced in the last entry is Louie Louie. I have a section about my collection of that song within my own site and it is well documented among other Louie collectors that I enjoy the thing.

The part about being always ready? Well, Ill just leave that open to interpretation and hope that most people view it as some sort of manly prowess!

I like the middle Googlism most . I know that that line is taken directly from one of my press clippings. It was originally quoted in the Marengo Star newspaper by Scott Brown. Ive used that quote on many a promo piece. However, NOW I believe the quote should be on my business card and credit should be given to Googlism.

I fully admit to being tickled pink at the thought of being famous enough to show up on this site. Knowing my own website is as popular as I have always thought is also comforting. Theres also a nice added cache to having only three Googlisms, all being somewhat positive and capable of serving as at a glance reviews of my act. At least I am not inexplicably perceived as having a completely bald head! THIS could be the first step to my eventual fame and fortune! Next stop SUPERSTARDOM!

Always Ready!I can now walk the streets and hold my head a little higher, confident in my ever-growing fame and success. Theres even a little bonus to this Googlism experiment. In case you were wondering...

Googlism for: berkeley breathed

Sorry, Google doesn't know enough about berkeley breathed yet.

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