John Donne said: “No man is an island, entire of
itself…any man’s death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind…”
I'm against the Death Penalty! So I propose each week, one
of us gets to go visit Zacaria's jell cell, and fling pork rinds on him!
I think we should call it: TUESDAYS with MOUSSAOUI!
The United States Treasury plans to open two additional
Mints in Baghdad! It
seems like spending in Iraq
has increased so much, Republicans just can't keep up with the daily
demand anymore!
D.C. man, Dumpster diving, finds a copy of our President's
travel plans. That same man is now an anchor reporter for FOX NEWS Network!
President Bush entertains China's
President Hu with a State BRUNCH...followed a WILLIAM HUNG concert!
Iran's
President writes an angry letter to America's
leader. But, the joke’s on them, because our President CAN'T READ!
When Congress allowed a "doughnut HOLE"
in our medical coverage, they didn't plan for The President to ACT like one!
The Senate votes 63 to 26 to make English our national
language! They now must translate their bill into pig-headedness, so
everybody in The House of Representatives can understand it!
Technically, The Office of U.S. President is a guest worker
program!
Vice President Dick Cheney offers to get his shotgun and GO
patrol the FREAKING border all by HISDAMNSELF!
On your TV this fall: SURVIVAL: "The OVAL OFFICE!"
Jeff Probst isolates the current presidential staff on a
tiny island, in hope they'll all start EATING each other!
U.S. Air Force General Michael Hayden is speedily
confirmed to be the next Ambassador to STUPIDVILLE! (CIA)
In The Treaty of Tripoli
-Article 11, Thomas Jefferson insists:
“The Government of the United
States of America is not, in any sense,
founded on the Christian religion…” Did our second President know something
today’s religious right wing still don’t know?
Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell challenge Osama bin laden
and Mullah Omar to a Steelcage Deathmatch televised on TBN!
Enron's Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling will go straight to
jail! And after that they will go straight to Hell!
The Dead Sea is dying!
But, then that's a self-fulfilling prophecy!
In a bleak downtown alley, the entire Los
Angeles Laker team CHOKES and dies! No, not even Kobe
could save them!
(spit) Didja hear about the new NASCAR brand pork?
(spit) It's The OTHER OTHER White Meat! (cuss) (spit)
I guess Mission Impossible III...was getting ENOUGH
people to GO SEE IT!
I think The DaVinci Code goes too far when they
claim over and over that Jesus was hiding a bunch of WMD's!
Tom Arnold misses Time Magazine's 2005 list of The 100
Most Influential People in the World...by a record 347 places!
Scientists at UCLA have discovered a THIRD gender
on Earth...and have ironically decided to name it RYAN SEACREST!
Even though NBC's grand dame sit-com wasn't even
eligible, Will and Grace got sixteen Tony nominations!
Face it, when Rosie O'Donnell finally debuts on ABC's The
View, our potential for seeing a bitch slap will increase by 300 percent!
Pop diva Madonna, on her current tour, crucifies herself
onstage. She says she's just beating her critics to the punch!
Guns N' Roses guitarist
Axel Rose gets shoved around and roughed up by the fashion designer Tommy
Hilfinger! This is the fourth sign out of five that Rock n' Roll has actually
died!
A new finding says marijuana can cause depression. But,
every one of the subjects in this bizarre clinical study were required to
smoke some REALLY SKANKY herb! (garbage in-garbage out)
Scientists say scents that get most women in the mood for
sex include vanilla, peppermint, jasmine, licorice, and newly minted money! (See
second story)
New survey: 33% of women say they can be talked
into a threesome!
The other 67% say they can be talked into a divorce and alimony by
asking about a threesome!
Spain
opens it's first ever brothel for WOMEN only! Confident of satisfying
it's customers, the brothel's name will be: " OLE! "
Researchers say incidents of oral sex between teenagers
have gone up...69 percent!
My pal invented The "Intelligent" Condom!
Oscar says if she's too ugly, hasn't shaved her legs, or smells bad, the condom
won't work!
To tell you the truth, my girlfriend is not my
better half. It would be a heck of a lot more accurate to say she's my better
7/8ths
Poor Lue says: America
losing its moral superiority may be the first sign our country isn’t a teenager
anymore!
John Donne also said: “ ...So do not ask of me, for
whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee!”
Politics
Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about.
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26.Aug 2011
Since just after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, conspiracy theories abou...read
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10.Mar 2011
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10.Mar 2011
Hurtful and fiery rhetoric is now media’s default setting! This slippery and m...read
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28.Feb 2011
Rebellion is cooking in the air. People are mad as hell, and not going to take...read
Opinion
World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case)
EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today.
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So, how exciting......a morning off, the Academy Awards. I wish I could say the...read
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According to a report of the Washington DC-based US Department of State, The Ph...read
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11.Oct 2010
The great question is why the great secret? On June 4 1963, President Kennedy s...read
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4.Oct 2010
As a general rule, tattoos gotten after 2 am are a bad idea. But in a bigger pi...read
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Travel
Travel Warning 13 September 2010 - DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN
13.Sep 2010
TRAVELWISE has been watching the situation in Iran for some months in relation ...read
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TRAVELWISE TRAVEL ADVISORY 5th June 2010. DO NOT TRAVEL TO ISRAEL.
5.Jun 2010
Given the recent incident whereby the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, used...read
TRAVELWISE. 16 APRIL 2010. EUROPEAN TRAVEL ALTERNATIVES
16.Apr 2010
Travelwise issues the following advice in relation to cancelled flights to, fro...read
TRAVELWISE 6 APRIL 2010. AUSTRALIAN AIR TRAVEL. THE BEST WAYS TO TRAVEL BY AIR IN AUSTRALIA.
5.Apr 2010
Regular readers might have seen and read the various advisory and no-fly notice...read
TRAVELWISE 2 APRIL 2010. QANTAS.
2.Apr 2010
Some concerns have been raised in relation to some of the maintenance practices...read
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