10 Most Irritating Things Women Do During Sex

I tried to ramp up for this list. Sadly, it wasn’t too much of a stretch. Most men might agree with me, but not out loud.

Women, God love ‘em, are the operative factor in continuing our species’ dominance of the planet. So we can’t get rid of them.

But the females in our lives manage to throw monkey wrenches in the spokes of our grandiose plans. Since recognizing a problem is the first step in fixing it, here’s a roadmap of the bumps ahead.

The 10 Most IRRITATING things women do during sex are:

1. She gets mad if you change channels back to the ballgame.
(This is great for now, but Barry Bonds hits next inning!)

2. She wants to play her favorite John Tesh or Yanni CD.
(I cannot do my business…listening to those shmucks!)

3. She is always UNCOOPERATIVE in a moving car!
(Look, we’ve got cruise control, and NOBODY can see!)

4. She burns a candle, but absolutely REFUSES to videotape.
(I taped over our wedding video, but don’t hold a grudge!)

5. She always takes so, so long!
("Ooh, ooh, I want to come too!" I just hate that!)

6. She always forgets to restock the batteries!
(There’s stuff I don’t have enough energy to keep doing!)

7. She complains too much about that "SIZE" thing!
(I can’t help it if that “big feet-big hands” thing is a myth!)

8. She refuses to wear the mink handcuffs I bought her.
(No, I won’t let her put them on ME, I don’t trust her!)

9. She forgets, as usual, to bring a DAMN TOWEL!
(It’s not my fault that we…OK; it really IS MY fault!)

10. She won't ever let her girlfriend join in the fun.
(I only asked twice, now she’s gone all Oprah on me!)

These are merely a few of the things women do. Men however, do thousands of more irritating things just to get a woman IN their beds. In gambler’s parlance: This bet is always a PUSH!

If love is blind, then love happens to be deaf and dumb too! Your silly shortcomings are no better, or worse, than hers. So back off your pre-conceived agendas in the battle of sexes and just enjoy what you’ve got, while you’ve got it!

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blalvd says on 2011-11-03 02:26:29 about u must have your dick the size of a little worm,how can you blame your girl if she complains each time about the size... so tiny penis with no energy to keep going, i bet she already left you....fuck you bastard !!

HELLA YES says on 2011-08-09 20:20:55 about TWO GIRLS I'm down for that any day, but most girl aren't& I can't disagree! Shiet How about this, she brings her GUY FRIEND along, (the one you suspiciously thinkisgay) and you can have a threesome with him? How about that? Doesn't sound so sexy when the tables are turned huh? >:o Keep that attitude up and the person who will forget to bring the towel on will be Mr.RIGHT HAND man

Ray says on 2011-05-06 00:07:33 about Tiny man Baha! I hope the girl leaves you dude.. You are a complete dick.

youre stupid says on 2011-03-16 04:16:55 about I can't believe someone would actually have sex with you, asshole.

Gi says on 2011-03-11 23:17:18 about 10 Most Irritating Things Woman Do During Sex Wow, really?! By the sounds of your personality..your lucky to be getting laid at all!

Niny says on 2011-03-11 02:08:28 about it really a nice

dramaqueen says on 2011-01-05 23:47:28 about thing she should never say HE WAS TIRED! cause ...

Lil Wayne says on 2010-12-06 17:50:27 about lol this is awesome, fuck the hater comments

Womanizer says on 2010-10-11 12:22:04 about What a jerk ! I can swear he has never seen a vagina before. LOL

trueblue says on 2010-10-04 14:29:05 about selfish men you are extremely selfish and need to lose the dick on your head

charlie says on 2010-06-29 18:28:15 about ten most Not only did I think it was funny, but I think at least 8 are true. Never heard the towel thing...and my guess is that although size is an issue, girls don't whine to the guy ... but she'll never forget it.

man says on 2010-06-09 01:47:58 about article it mocks men. very sarcastic article. the woman that wrote this has probably never been in a relationship.

FennFenn says on 2010-05-05 10:23:10 about seriously a guy didnt wrtie that article that was a chick. seriously i could care less about any of that. guys dont care if you get off or if you think we have a little dick casue were already having sex.

a women says on 2010-05-04 15:36:24 about wow I really can't believe some of the women posting here... you ladies are way to sensitive, its a joke... funny haha ... you know? idiots.

pg says on 2010-05-01 12:55:30 about misunderstood humour this was definitely mocking men, not women, for wanting ridiculous things during sex. none of it was serious. don't see how women could get offended by it since it was mocking men

lil G says on 2010-04-30 22:04:47 about sum article yo chicks calm down u kno guys are guys its funny ya but u kno guys have more problems so why sweat wut diz shit says this is not even close to what theze mutha fukerz r yo diz fool jus pathetic

gurl says on 2010-04-30 21:59:24 about dumb if you don't appreciate women try going to men and you'll see what girls go through with ass holes like you!

me says on 2010-04-30 21:56:01 about stupidness yo dat shit messed up u went to far i get a lil joking buh shit i guess u hating on women bcuz u cant get anything or u jus gaye or sum shit one of these days u gunna find the perfect gurl in she leaves u and u dont know why?? shit not even hard to guess why

kitkat says on 2010-04-30 19:59:39 about Fucking sexist cunts!

anon says on 2010-04-30 05:00:42 about Even if it was just a joke, it was still fucking sexist. NOT FUNNY. If it was serious... some of us are entitled to enjoy sex too, you know.

spider says on 2010-04-30 02:26:02 about not funny This was not funny, and that has nothing to do with offensive content. The only thing I was offended by was the lost opportunity to make a truly funny top 10 list, sexist jokes and all.

candy says on 2010-04-29 21:14:42 about This was the stupidest thing i've ever read.

milkman61 says on 2010-04-29 09:16:36 about this.. Most of yo uare missing the humour in this completey, to those people: learn to think outside the box.. This list is a comedic play on other lists of this nature..

Runemist says on 2010-04-29 03:14:56 about I didn't find this humorous at all. Perhaps we should be poking fun at real life things, instead of poking fun at things that don't actually happen? Or is that too high-brow for some people?

Seriously... says on 2010-04-28 21:07:21 about Underneath the authors name it says "The Comic in Red Shoes." This is being taken way too seriously. The point of the article isn't the list but as the last sentence says "just enjoy what you’ve got, while you’ve got it!" The list is making fun of lists of this sort. Jesus people. Chill out.

anon says on 2010-04-28 14:54:34 about an excuse for comedy? This royally sucked. Big time. I was expecting something, anything funny. But I got this crap! I can only imagine an idiot writing this, perhaps an idiot that either never gets laid or gets laid a lot but it's never meant anything. Disappointed in you.

Cecila says on 2010-04-28 10:37:30 about 10 most This was so BORING. Not because I'm offended as a girl; I'm really not at all. But it's just so cliché. Boring gender stereotypes, seriously haven't humor evolved past that? BIG YAWN.

Femalee. says on 2010-04-28 08:22:20 about this yeah seriously shutup im female and i thought it was funny.

tessamelia says on 2010-04-28 08:22:19 about Blog Hahahahaha, Thats funny man! Sorry if i sound in sensitive. I'm a chick and i just found it hilarious, not offensive. x

somerandomchick says on 2010-04-28 00:49:35 about to all the other women who commented on here: STFU. Seriously go onto the one about men, do you here them complaining? uh hell no gawd sometimes i wish i was a dude so then i wouldn't have to be associated with the rest of you.

blahdeblah says on 2010-04-27 15:35:06 about ten most all i can say is, you bastard.

Yarik says on 2010-04-15 20:40:26 about Top 10 Just get F_U_C_K_E_D in the ass!

jerry says on 2010-04-12 00:02:41 about blog you dont get laid too often huh??? figures...

james says on 2010-04-09 00:38:44 about sex we do not having this during sex is only way about sex there ten thing's about sex is marrge

beauty says on 2010-03-08 05:06:28 about ur blog your an ass and im glad you sound so miserable and that you have so much to complain about someone like u deserves ur misery:)

Kira says on 2010-02-12 14:12:11 about Ten Most Semms like you dont have a life. Half of the things you said are not even funny. lol maybe she takes too long because youre not actually pleasing her? or is it that you are actually too small to do anything pleasing? Kind of interesting information you give us. Yet it was still stupid and plain.

terd sayer says on 2010-01-29 01:33:33 about this haha?... but this was kinda funny ~.~

Emma says on 2010-01-22 23:59:18 about That is like the stupidest thing i have ever heard. Ask your girl friend to have a 3 some with you and her friend? Would you like it if she wanted your mate to have a 3 sum with the both of you?. Doubt it. If your intrested in her mate. Ask her on a date?

cj says on 2009-12-28 18:14:21 about dis u forgot some things 1 is dey talk to much 2their idea of a good time is not to us it smore of a ahh yea no 3 dey think bubbelbaths and shit is good personaly i think gust haven sex for a while and the girl not tlaking so much is good

mikey tyson says on 2009-07-08 10:16:59 about rabbits i like rabbits.. do u?

clemensgirl12 says on 2009-07-07 14:53:04 about ten most What a pig! Is it really so hard to just stick your cock up that tight pussy?! Man, just stop complaining because it's not even funny! Do up and down motions (i know i love that) Have a fucking good time and if the guy doesn't cum all over you, then what's even the point of having sex in the first place. OMG! My favorite place to have sex would have to be the shower! Women, if your guy isn't cumming all over you yet, give him an awesome blowjob and suck his penis in your mouth for ever! This conversation is making me so HORNY!

clemensgirl12 says on 2009-07-07 14:46:04 about ten most What a pig!

lady tygrave says on 2009-05-05 07:09:52 about 10 Most Irritating Things Women Do During Sex omg thats hilarious cause for any man to actually be like that wouldnt get far with me i want a man to take his time and appreciate i enjoy pleasing hiim as much as i like my toes curled i feel for u dude ur sex life must really suck.

susana says on 2009-03-09 22:43:56 about wow ok.. Wow i am Just 14 and i think that u guys have no BALLS

justme says on 2009-01-31 22:22:54 about fuck the towel....just don't complain when we use your shirt instead

aissa says on 2008-11-13 01:33:56 about about this! If you are trying to be funny.. Loved it.. But I kinda felt like you were a lil serious.. If thats the case.. you are a selfish pig.. If you are not.. you are hilarious dude!!

Tit says on 2008-10-24 16:25:24 about 10 Things Now heres the suprise, most of you lot cant actually construct a sentence - grow up the lot of ya, its one persons opinion not the be all and end all of the world - if you dont like it go elsewhere. And yes I am female.

kayla&annlisa says on 2008-10-10 13:22:37 about sex yall are all nasty old people that need 2 get laid and life!!!

mensclothes says on 2008-09-07 21:06:57 about Go to www.shop.collegelearner.com for the hot mens clothes that will help you hook up more with women..

homosaywhatt says on 2008-08-08 13:25:22 about fuckface hah. you're lamee.

emmy says on 2008-05-20 10:25:02 about sex yo all i need to say is that you need to stop talking junck about peoples fucking mothers because i will lick your ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiki again says on 2008-04-13 15:53:55 about yo momma yo momma so stupid so though she was fat and ugle when she was ha ha

coolerthan you/kiki says on 2008-04-13 15:50:30 about about what i fell like eating eating chicken oh chicken are so great and potate salad just kidden yoo you momma so fat she though jar jar fits with pickles pickles yo momma fight anyone else bitches

coolerthan you/kiki says on 2008-04-13 15:49:56 about about what i fell like eating eating chicken oh chicken are so great and potate salad just kidden yoo you momma so fat she though jar jar fits with pickles pickles yo momma fight anyone else

kiki says on 2008-04-13 15:44:43 about chickens you fucking dumb asses mark-ass bitches what ever we were talking about i just feel like cusses

kiki says on 2008-04-13 15:43:11 about sex you fucking dumb asses

morgy says on 2008-04-01 10:00:46 about this is not funny dumb fuck. this wasnt funny at all.

MANDI says on 2008-03-31 09:58:56 about 10 THINGS K WOW WHAT A DICK.YOU DONT ASK UR GIRL TO GET HER FRIEND TO HAVE A 3SOME WITH YOU.

MANDI says on 2008-03-31 09:58:46 about 10 THINGS K WOW WHAT A DICK.YOU DONT ASK UR GIRL TO GET HER FRIEND TO HAVE A 3SOME WOTH YOU.

MANDI says on 2008-03-31 09:58:31 about 10 THINGS K WOW WHAT A DICK.YOU DONT ASK UR GIRL TO GET HE FRIEND TO HAVE A 3SOME WOTH YOU.

lisa says on 2007-06-01 03:53:01 about 10 most irriating you are just not funny,here i thought i was gonna read something good but what a load of trash,lets see the fun you'l be having when i ask if i can bang your best mate while you wiating for some action from

Jill says on 2006-12-13 20:14:22 about ten things Obviously, the writer told several jokes on himself, at least he's fair. You dudes should chill

Shell says on 2006-11-28 13:13:00 about true But that is just how women are and if you can't except that then that is on you guys

a real man! says on 2006-11-10 18:36:10 about 10 things this is the worst thing i have ever seen! why don't you guys grow some balls and appreciate how wonderful she really is!!!

Bobbi says on 2006-06-06 19:59:39 about 10 most I laughed the whole way thru! Nice one!

JamesDean says on 2006-05-28 13:58:04 about 10 the topic is fine, just u're not funny