IT'S CHRIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAS!

I'd like to start this article with a quote, a quote which is very apt for this time of year. Ladies and gentlemen, in the worlds of Neville John Holder MBE (Noddy to you and me) "IT'S CHRIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAS!"

That's right, We have arrived at that unmistakable time of year when we celebrate the birth of one of the greatest fictional characters known to man, yes...happy birthday Santa Claus.

Now, before i carry on, i should point out that i LOVE Christmas, nay, I adore Christmas to the point where i must actually come across as a giddy day release patient from the loony bin. I can't get enough of it. I love the cheesy Christmas songs as much as i do the solemn carols. I love getting out to the shops to buy gifts for the people i care about. I love being with those very same people on the day and that feeling of sheer joy you get when you realise how lucky you are to have such great family and friends. I love getting drunk on Bucks Fizz. I love all the modern day traditions, like The Queen's Speech. I love going to see my kids in their nativity plays. Even as i write this, I'm sat basking in the glow of our Christmas Tree, with a pair of novelty flashing Reindeer Antlers on my head.

And that is the simplest, most ridiculous beauty of Christmas. The sheer Daftness of it. If aliens were to land on earth today, They'd look around them, see all the huge illuminated trees, houses, streets, possibly hear a snippet of Shakin' Stevens hit Merry Christmas Everyone, maybe there would be a Carol concert somewhere with Mulled Wine and Mince Pies, and loads of smiling happy faces, and men folk in oversized red and green knitted jumpers with Reindeer and Christmas Trees all over it and think 'We can't invade this planet, it's too gay'. Christmas and its campiness saving us from little green men? that sounds about right.

Of course, this year is for many, a Christmas like no other. The Credit Crunch has meant that a lot of families are having to tighten their belts and curb there usual expenditure. These poor souls will discover the true meaning of Christmas whether they like it or not. Without the funds to lavish gifts on their kids and families, all they have is each other. It sounds sad, but i don't think it will do them any harm. There is nothing wrong with a bit of togetherness with your loved ones. And it could be character building.

And then there are our brave Servicemen and Women who this year may well be spending Christmas under constant threat from the insurgents in Basra in Iraq or Helmand Province in Afghanistan. Spare a thought for them and there loved ones this Christmas won't you. Nobody disagreed with these two pointless wars more than me, but now that our boys and girls are out there, it's only natural to wish them a safe return and as Merry a Christmas as possible on the front line.

Of course, its not just people in the armed forces who are a bit tied up this Yuletide period. A bit closer to home, there are also scores of Nurses and Doctors, Firemen, Policemen, Care Workers, Prison Officers and Social Workers who will be spending Christmas Day with work mates instead of their Families. My Mum is one of them. A lot of these people work through Christmas every year because they have found their calling and are willing to sacrifice themselves for their jobs. All of them Heros, and all of them deserve our warm wishes this Christmas.

Christmas can also be a pretty lonely time of year for some people. A lot of people don't have any family or friends to spend the festive period with. Christmas Day is just another day to them. If there is someone near you who you think might be alone this Christmas, why not put a Christmas Card through their letterbox, just to let them know you are there. And at this time of year, there are loads of charities looking for donations of toys and books for young children in care. Get down to Woolies while it's still there and get a little gift for someone who might never have received a present before in their lives. If that doesn't make you feel good, Nothing will. Glad i got that off my chest.

Oh, and Boxing Day. It's still a public Holiday you know? Why don't you do what I'm going do and spend it with my entire family eating leftovers and getting tipsy on whatever booze is to hand. Resist the temptation to go to some faceless out-of-town shopping park to buy a sofa you don't need just because the ads promised you 0% Interest Free Credit for 4 years and you Pay Nothing until January 2010. Who cares? there will always be Sofas, but your family might not be around forever. Enjoy them.

I'm starting to sound really schmaltzy now, really we all know that we're just gonna eat and drink too much and fall asleep watching The Great Escape for the 684th time. Wearing thin paper crowns and farting off the sprouts. And nobody will bat an eyelid. It's the Daftness of Christmas. Decorated Trees?? Indoors?? A jolly man with a big white beard coming down your chimney to leave gifts? Look, if Santa really brought me this Electric Razor, why does it still have a Boots price tag and 3 for 2 sticker on it?

It's an amazing time of year that makes you really happy just to be a part of it. So wherever you are going to be and whoever you are going to be with. Have a very Merry Christmas and a fantastic New Year.

Now, where did i leave that Eggnog?

Ding-Dong Merrily On High...

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