The day I met George Bush

The other day I was sitting in the same room with George W. Bush. It wasn't a fancy restaurant or anything; even the prices were below the average. The tables were covered with sexy red table-cloth and lots of oysters were on them, not to mention loads of Tequila and 4 definitely natural blonds with definitely real breasts sitting in there. It's just an observation, might be a bit subjective and inadequate, as it wasn't my table and those weren't my girls. They were accompanying Mr. Bush.

Whatever you have seen in the movies, whatever you may have read about the American secret service and defense systems from newspapers, they aren't telling you the truth. Not the whole truth anyway. They are all trying to mislead you. It's a global conspiracy. The secret agent men are never men and never as stupid as they seem. Do you really think anyone would let a man with a face like Bush inside some public place and even let his moron-bodyguards in? I really doubt it. So instead, as my observations tell me – the actual agents are all busty blond women. Natural, of course. Natural plastic with bulletproof cover.

My name is Chase the Chaser and I am private investigator. My slogan is “Always Chase the chaser” (it sounds exactly like the coca-cola theme and I love it). That's all you really need to know about me. As I'm kind of a undercover agent, or at least acting like one, I can't disclose anything else, even not to myself, someone might be reading. The fact that I live in a beach house in Malibu, bought with the money that I got from framing the Levinsky affair, should not be publicly known information either.

This is my diary and that's my first entry. Everyone needs to file information about his doings. They say that we are currently using only a small amount of brain power and we're up for much more – I say this is another conspiracy, conspiracy against the small-town guy like I am. I'm not sure what kind of conspiracy yet, but I definitely will find it out soon. So I, not like most of the other people around here, admit I have only a small brain potential and I'm already using 110% of it. That's the truth. And just now I have discovered that I can't really remember much about my last cases, so from now on, I decided to start this diary. And this is case one.

Bush, his women and the conspiracy

Laura, Laura Bush, hired me. During the presidential campaign she had noticed something not so ordinary and she decided to hire a private investigator to follow his man everywhere he goes. She suspected that Mr. Bush was having an affair, but she wasn't sure with whom. During the campaign time he had noticed four women always twirling around Mr. Bush. She knew her husband couldn't handle even one well enough, not to mention four, so she wasn't worried about all of them. But she thought she knew one thing for sure – one of them was screwing him. Now she just wanted to know – WHO?

[BB]

Laura knew for a long time that she isn't too attractive, the mirror just didn't like her much, but that's faith. At least that's what she thought herself. My background investigation shows however that she never has been a normal child. She was brought up by Batman and Robin and you have all seen those two.

He gave me the 200 000 down payment and we got started. And now here I was, in the same room with the worlds most respected leader, George W. Bush. Four busty, really great looking women sitting all around him. If you'd only seen them – so sexy, so hot, and the way they licked their bananas. God they were hot. I was just imagining them in their swimming suits and then without them. Rubbing towards each other and then against George...hkk, autch, hkk, mmm...fark! Again. Huh, it's always happening to me. And there I was...awake, ready to change my pants.

This was my dream. Usually they tend to be wet, and this was nothing out of the ordinary. After all, we're talking about George W. Bush for gods’ sake!

This wasn’t the end you were looking for…right?

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