Welcome to "The Cheers!"

Article by
Comedian, Juggler, Columnist, GENIUS!


This is the 15th issue of The Cheers. If you have been one of our loyal readers from the beginning you know that we are a different type of internet publication. If this is your first time here, let me tell you a little about what youll find inside our imaginary pages.

When you log on to The Cheers youll be very surprised to see an unusual number of consonants in the names of our journalists. Thats because we are something of an international endeavor, featuring writers from across the globe. This ethnic diversity leads you to the wild mix of content we offer. Our pages have taken us to the heart of the election season in Italy, explained world religions in laymans terms, and taken us shopping for brides in India. You wont find such an eclectic mix of topics anywhere else.

However, you will also find interviews with authors, musicians, & celebrities from all avenues of the creative world. Read on and you will find poetry, editorials, opinions, movie reviews and bizarre tales about equestrian hygiene. The Cheers may take you into the dark world of eating disorders, the lives of trans-gendered children, or take you on the road to self reliance. In short, The Cheers has content unlike any other publication on Earth. If youve missed some of these unusual topics you have been missing out on something special.





So how can YOU start enjoying this magazine on a higher level? How can you get the maximum amount of fulfillment from these virtual pages? Allow me to show you some of the many fine features The Cheers has provided as a complement to the plethora of content. Using these features will make your time here even more enjoyable.

I realize I could take this time to simply say, Read all of my work then surf on over to your favorite porn site. Contrary to popular belief, The Cheers is not all about me and nobody is more surprised - uh, aware of this than I. So lets start with the other writers here.

If you examine the front page youll notice that you dont know who wrote what article until you click on the link. Honestly, this may be an oversight, but for the sake of making the place look classy Ill boldly say with confidence that the bi-lines appear only when you read the whole story. This promotes the reading of the entire magazine. Sure we want to develop audiences for individual writers, but in the process of you searching for something to read, you just might become a fan of The Cheers as a whole. At least this sounds like a good lie for me to pass along.

If you are interested in finding work from specific authors, learning more about whos working here, or just need more e-mail addresses to send your SPAM & hate mail, youre in luck! At the top & bottom of the pages, youll find a link which reads, Our Team. Go ahead, click on it! Youll find a complete listing of all current staff members here at The Cheers. You can click on any name to read their profile, find an e-mail address, and most importantly, youll find links to every story that particular author has ever written. Youll be able to get caught up on all things The Cheers in no time.

Want to read past issues of The Cheers as they originally appeared? Well boy-howdy, you can do it! Right next to the Our Team link is the Archive link which will take you to every issue of The Cheers. Read the stories! Relive the birth of an internet SUPERSTAR publication! See the typos! Weve got it all right at your fingertipswell, everything but the photos. They all went to Internet Heaven thanks to a server problem. But HEY, thats part of the charm of a new venture.



See? We TOLD You About This Before!


See? We TOLD You About This Before!If you like your magazine to be a little more interactive, take a closer look at the submissions from our writers. Many of our authors allow you, the reader, to leave ratings and comments about the piece you just read. Our rating system is based upon how many CHEERS youd give the writer & the story if you were toasting it at a pub somewhere. The highest accolade you can give the story is a FULL BEER! Why? Because were writers and were all problem drinkers. Actually that is just one of the funny little features added by Siim, our Editor-in-Chief. This is his baby and if he wants to celebrate our contributions with a beer, who are we to argue?

Underneath the rating area you can leave comments about the story. So far as I know The Cheers is one of the only publications that allows the reader the instant gratification that comes from being able to leave your feedback immediately. You can send a letter to the editor for Time, Newsweek, FHM - virtually any magazine or newspaper and never see your opinion in print. Here, you are heard right away. AND, your comments arent subjected to proofreading or editing, something the writers must endure if we want our stories to get published. Why? Because WE LOVE OUR READERS and we dont care if YOU can't spell!

Now lets say that instead of leaving some positive or negative feedback about a specific story, you want to really delve into the topic AND get into a really good ol fashioned internet flame war. Well sir, The Cheers has just the place for YOU. Simply enter our Forums and become a part of our ever-growing online community. Online bulletin boards are not only a great way to get your opinion out there, but it is a GREAT way to waste time at work. Youll have no problems looking busy while waiting for lunch time if you make clever use of the many interactive features offered by The Cheers.

If lighter reading is your fare, the info-column at the far right of your screen (sometime the left) provides poems, quotations, recipes - what have you. Clearly, there are a lot of different ways to enjoy reading and playing at The Cheers.



Doesn't THAT Look Nice?


Doesn't THAT Look Nice?Finally, there is one last use for The Cheers that is sure to please; FREE ADVERTISING! If you have a business or website that needs a little more buzz to raise your position in the search engines, become a Friend of The Cheers. Our Friends section allows you the opportunity to get some free banner ads and valuable links to your website. All we ask is that you add a reciprocal link back to us. It becomes a mutually beneficial relationship for all of us. Now if you want to pay for an advertisement in The Cheers I guess we can work it that way too. I just think FREE is better, dont you?





Now that youre prepared to fully realize the potential of this bizarre and entertaining little slice of virtual life, GO! Readplayenjoy! Be sure to tell your friends about us and if you havent already done so, subscribe to The Cheers and guarantee youll never miss an issue. If YOU had an internet magazine Id subscribe.



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Andy Martello
I have been writing everything from full length comedy shows to cigar reviews for many years. Not a whole lot of published or pro (paid) pieces, but many things produced (plays, comedy sketches, etc)

A friend of mine once described my writing style as Hunter S. Thompson meets Hemingway. He did not specify Ernest or Mariel Hemingway, but I thought it to be an interesting thing to say. I told him to go easy on the Guinness & shots for awhile.



GOD IS DEAD. HE IS NO MORE. HE IS KAPUT.
There is no such thing as church law, sharia law or any other religious law. The law of the land, Government law, or International law applies. Religious entities simply do not have the legal power or authority to create or apply laws.



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