Job App: Comic

Dear Club Owner:

So you need a good stand-up comic? Well, look no further. My act is so hilarious ... (How hilarious is it?) ... it makes Bill Cosby look like a pretender.

(Ba - Boom - Schehhhhhhhhhhh)

Now, do I have your attention?

You've got to see the video of my act. I'm going to send it to you. When I get one, I'll get it right into the old postal system. Of course, if it goes postal, it will never arrive (get it?). Instead, I think I'll drop it by your club -- probably tomorrow. I did have one already, but the last guy who watched it grabbed it out of my hands, right after I pulled it out of the VCR, and yelled, "That was so stupid!" as he slammed it to the floor. What an idiot.

But here -- let me tell you this one joke I made up the other day. It's such a riot. Oh, man, I am laughing out loud right now just thinking about it.

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Are you ready for the answer. (Oh, this is such a screamer.) Get ready. You're gonna practically have an anurism (or is it anerism or anuerism -- oh, who really cares, right? You get my meaning.). Here goes:

One.

OK. OK. Now that you've picked yourself up off the floor, let me make sure you didn't miss the best part, because it's kind of subtle, and it's the part I really love. What it is that is so subtle is that this joke would not have been funny before all the other "screw in the light bulb" jokes. But the reason you split a side after you heard it was because it was so unexpected. After the slew of "screw in the light bulb" jokes, you expected some complicated, long-winded explanation of why it would take a boatload of electricians. But the obvious answer of "one" really catches you off guard, doesn't it! Isn't that an incredible joke?

Excuse me --

Man, I just had to pick myself up off the floor, again. I'm OK now (ha ha -- still chuckling a bit).

My whole act is full of this kind of killer material.

I can definitely start this Friday night. That will work well for me, 'cause I have a car payment coming due -- well, actually it's a tad bit past due -- but who keeps track in the loan business, if you know what I mean. I don't know who you have headlining now, but you probably want to contact them as soon as possible and break the bad news. That way they can try to line up a gig while they still have some cash in the old banking system.

And by the way, there is no need to say thanks. You've got quite a reputation on the comedy circuit yourself. I bet I'm almost as thrilled to get to work with you as you are to catch a big fish like me.

Yours for Yucks,
Stanley Dumox





The Cheers, (c) Rob Favero (http://pepe-day-2-day.blogspot.com), All rights reserved.

Politics Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about. more Top 5 Conspiracy Theories Related to John F. Kennedy's Assassination 26.Aug 2011 Since just after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, conspiracy theories abou...read ISRAEL KEEPING GHADDAFI AFLOAT 10.Mar 2011 ...read Glen Beck Is NOT the Anti-Christ! 10.Mar 2011 Hurtful and fiery rhetoric is now media’s default setting! This slippery and m...read Recipe for A REVOLUTION! (10 easy steps - try not to get burned!) 28.Feb 2011 Rebellion is cooking in the air. People are mad as hell, and not going to take...read THE ASSANGE CASE. CIA INTERFERED WITH SWEDISH LEGAL PROCESSES EXTREME RIGHT POLITICS A DANGER TO EUROPEAN UNITY THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY. OUT OF TOUCH, OUT OF FOCUS, OUT OF CREDIBILITY AND HOPEFULLY, OUT OF THE DOOR Opinion World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case) EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today. more The Great OSCARS 2011 – or so it would seem 5.Mar 2011 So, how exciting......a morning off, the Academy Awards. I wish I could say the...read Top 7 Expensive Bordellos. Prostitution: Shakedown, Tier Down, and Priced Out 31.Jan 2011 According to a report of the Washington DC-based US Department of State, The Ph...read The Great Secret and Reason for the JFK Assassination 11.Oct 2010 The great question is why the great secret? On June 4 1963, President Kennedy s...read Don't Do it! The 3 Worst Times to Get Tattoos 4.Oct 2010 As a general rule, tattoos gotten after 2 am are a bad idea. But in a bigger pi...read

Travel Travel Warning 13 September 2010 - DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN 13.Sep 2010 TRAVELWISE has been watching the situation in Iran for some months in relation ...read more TRAVELWISE TRAVEL ADVISORY 5th June 2010. DO NOT TRAVEL TO ISRAEL. 5.Jun 2010 Given the recent incident whereby the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, used...read TRAVELWISE. 16 APRIL 2010. EUROPEAN TRAVEL ALTERNATIVES 16.Apr 2010 Travelwise issues the following advice in relation to cancelled flights to, fro...read TRAVELWISE 6 APRIL 2010. AUSTRALIAN AIR TRAVEL. THE BEST WAYS TO TRAVEL BY AIR IN AUSTRALIA. 5.Apr 2010 Regular readers might have seen and read the various advisory and no-fly notice...read TRAVELWISE 2 APRIL 2010. QANTAS. 2.Apr 2010 Some concerns have been raised in relation to some of the maintenance practices...read Sport No Payoff From the Playoffs $16.50 will Get Anyone in the Hall Mr McGwire Stupid Athlete Tricks Technology Think Big! Think the World's Largest International Trade Show Top 9 cool laptop accessories for laptop geeks Twittering: I'm not that interesting Cheers Jesus' Answering Machine Brown Couch or twelve midgets in the town square How To Be Happy Drugged Out Saturday Nights Muslim Decapitation: Bad, or Simply Misunderstood?