Hello folks. Welcome to the Journal. I wanted to talk about this topic
because I thought it was funny when I talked about it on the show, but
I didn’t have enough time to cover it. So I decided that today would be
a good time to go there.
Yes prom, it is that time in life
where just about anything can happen. The first time for many people
regarding many different things. Sex, drugs, booze, you name it, it can
happen here at prom. I believe that prom is a challenging event and
here to give you some special survival tips is your good friend Michael
Jae.
Find the right person to go withYes this
is very important because in order to have a fun time. So in order to
achieve this, you need to find someone fun, someone interesting, and
someone who doesn’t want to talk to their damn girlfriends all night
long. The thing is this is a special night, and when you get some
little bitchy bitch who wants to gab all night with her girlfriends
about what this person is wearing, and how that nail polish looks, it
kinds of spoils the mood for the prom, and events to hopefully follow.
Get your own transportation to the PromI
have heard from many high school students that many schools are telling
students to take a bus from the high school to the hotel/banquet hall
that is hosting the event. This is bullshit. First off, I do believe
high school students are responsible enough to find their way to the
prom. What’s more? This is an event where schools are bringing the
transition from child to adult. It is a black tie affair. It is a
social gathering. If a student is going to a charity event, should they
get on the bus from the headquarters of the charity? Of course not.
This is my opinion is all about the molding and shaping of young minds
to become part of the machine known as conformity. Don’t ask questions;
be a follower not a leader unless you want trouble. I remember a story
a couple years back about a couple who was going to be in the school
play in Algonquin, and wanted to go to prom afterwards. The school
tried to stop them from going since they couldn’t get on the bus, but
eventually protests from parents and media attention got them to change
their minds.
Dance to slow songs onlyAnyone who
wants to do anything else but fuck on prom night, go to Dance Fever,
OK? Prom is sex night. You can smell it in the air. People are getting
laid. Whether it is the school slut, or that nice little virgin about
to be deflowered, fluids will be exchanged. The more times you dance to
slow songs, the more you set the mood. Guys this is important.
Especially if you want to get your dick wet. I am not the romantic
expert, but if you treat a woman like she is the only person on a night
like this, the possibilities are endless regarding what can happen,
that is unless you find the school whore. Then forget everything I just
said.
Be sure to spike the punch bowlYes this
may be old, but oh what can happen when you spike that punch bowl.
Everyone will get drunk, and all that bullshit I said about setting the
mood. This is the way to set the mood in an entirely different way.
This will possibly lead the way to many orgies in the night. I am
kidding. However there is an upside to this. If you offer the
chaperones some juice which unbenounced to them has been “sweetened”,
there is a good chance the teachers will get wasted as well. You can
party with the teachers and if you want to kick it Mary Kay Latourneau
style, you can bang one of them. Imagine your teacher talking to you
about the birds and the bees while she is straddling you. And if they
do get wasted, you can always blame it on them since most of them are
of legal age to buy alcohol. You can blackmail them for A’s. You can
borrow money from them. This is the key to your destiny people.
[BB]
Get a limo with white seatsNow
remember, all that Barry White may get her in the mood as soon as you
get back to the limo. You need to get a limo for prom, OK? She might
want to do the nasty or maybe even one of those teachers we talked
about earlier. You may have an accident and it will blend in with white
seats better than black. If you spooge on the black seats, the limo
driver will want your balls on a plate. Prevent this by asking for a
white limo. Think about this, a married couple might use the limo you
got your knob polished in. Then they will be sitting in the load you
let release during Prom Night.
Find a nice place to go to afterwardsOnce
again, if you give a woman all the attention, you’ll get special
attention. Fuck going to a party. You can go to a party anytime. The
Prom is really special for the girls and most of them lose their
virginity on this night. Do you really think she wants you to pop her
cherry in a room that sounds like a frat house? That is just so
disrespectful. Unless she is a freak like that and wants to play a game
of finger cuffs with you and a buddy or a girlfriend.
Use protection!!!!This
is very important!!!! USE A CONDOM!!!! You never know who the girl has
been with, no matter what she says. She may say she is on the pill, but
use one anyway. She could have sucked of the whole football team and
caught Syphilis. Girls, insist that your man use one for the same
reason. Your date could be the guy that hit it with the girl who had
many touchdowns with the football team. Also, no one wants a little one
to spoil his or her prom night. Save that shit for marriage.
And most important, have funProm
is a night to have fun and remember. Just be safe. However there is one
thing you can do to avoid all this craziness. DON’T GO TO THE PROM. In
my opinion, proms are stupid and I am blessed to have a girlfriend who
felt the same way. Who wants to hang out with a bunch of people you
can’t stand anyway? If there is a final farewell, you do it on a
different night. Forget the Prom. Besides, making a woman feel special
is something that should be done without having a three-ring circus
like your high school prom. And to whoever wins that Prom King and
Queen bullshit, will this put food on your plate when you get all old
and shit? Does it look good on your resume? Or is it just a self-esteem
stroke job to make yourself feel good that you are the guy and girl
people play with themselves over? Thanks.
This is satire
ladies and gentleman. Michael Jae will not be responsible for anyone
who is stupid enough to try this shit. Have a wonderful day.
MJ
Tags:
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