Why do we jump to conclusions and assume that Islamo-Fascist decapitation of American civilians is bad?Here are some of the many reasons why Muslim decapitation of non-Muslim civilians is a good and humane practice:
1)Decapitation is commanded in the Holy Koran, so it must be good.It is part of Muslim culture.Did we not learn in school that it is important to respect all cultures—that none is superior to another—that all cultures are equal and should be respected?Perhaps if we made an attempt to study Muslim culture, if we viewed it from within, we would appreciate and support the idea of decapitation of infidels.It is written in the Holy Koran, “cut the neck of the infidel.”Why is this statement, repeated dozens of times in the Koran?Perhaps Allah meant a slight NICK, drawing a little blood.But He probably meant complete removal of the head.I mean, what would the point of a “nick” be?Would the infidel convert after a nick?No way.
Removal of the head in Islam means that one cannot go to heaven and Lord knows, infidels do not belong there.Muslims certainly would not want to see Jews like Don Rickels or Lenny Bruce in Heaven!They’d tear up the Muslims.Now Henny Youngman or Jack Benny, I think, Muslims would like.Those two could do well doing stand-up, gently poking fun of the Muslims and their virgins.Henny would say “Now take Osama, please.”They’d howl.Or “brothers, let us not lose our heads over decapitation,” barum bum. Maybe Muslims should plan better and not decapitate the best Jewish stand-ups.Seinfeld, you got a chance, baby.He’d be telling jokes to the Muslims, with their knives on their belts, and Jerry would be sweating like a dog.(Do dogs sweat?)
2)Decapitation by pocket knife, preferably Swiss, is preferable to other practices by non-Muslims (“Gentiles”) in history.Much has been said about the so-called “barbarism” of Muslim decapitation by a small, rusty pocket knife.This is SLANDER against our Muslim brothers and sisters.Regarding the rust on the knife, it would seem that if you are getting your head cut off, tetanus would be the least of your worries!Can you imagine a missionary about to have his head sawed off, looking at the rusty knife and requesting a rust-free knife?So rust, dear readers, is fine and please, please leave our Muslim brothers alone to practice their beloved customs.They don’t criticize our customs, so let’s not criticize theirs!
3)And what about the horrific executions by non-Muslims like Christians and Buddhists?In the 1700s the French, with their blood-lust orgy of murder during the revolution, used decapitation.Their method?The axe or the Guillotine, named after a French liberal pacifist named Glutton, who died of obesity.One can argue that the Guillotine or axe was more humane than a rusty Swiss army knife.But the drooling, retarded French axe executioners often missed the mark, hitting the back or cutting off the top of the head (which often raised the IQ of the victim).This miss-hit left the empathetic women in the crowd imploring the executioner to get it right.This miss-hit on the back must have been somewhat uncomfortable.An athlete, with good eye-hand coordination would have been consistently more accurate.OJ Simpson, for example, would surely have hit the neck.There is some past empirical evidence to support his accuracy with a knife. Perhaps he is Muslim. Thus, a rusty knife used “up close and personal” in the Islamic fashion, is 100% accurate and humane.Also, Muslims’ use the knife is in private, in respect for the victim, whereas Europeans would encourage crowds to come and throw spoiled tomatoes at the poor soul.(Let he who is without sin cast the first tomato)Of course, it could be argued, “how bad is a tomato when you will shortly go under the Guillotine”This European crowd thing is their idea of entertainment.I say give them a break—they didn’t have cable then.What else was there to do?
4)Shall we compare Muslim decapitation with the Christian practices of “drawing and quartering,” burning at the stake or the RACK and pinion?These are the most barbaric forms of execution devised by men and women.OK, just men. Can you see a woman coming up with the idea of drawing and quartering?But they loved watching!And they were Christians. Methinks that Jesus might not approve of this organized cruelty.He’d say “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”And the cretin throng would yell back “We ain’t throwin’ stones dufass!We throwin’ termatos.Duh.”What were these “Christians” thinking?Did they put Jesus on hold?Would they not have executions on Sunday?Now that would be “special.”
Drawing and quartering makes Muslim decapitations look gentle!Who would choose drawing and quartering for their own execution?(Did anyone actually say “I’d prefer to have my arms and legs pulled off”)Christians are much more creative in their cruelty than Muslims.But, you say, “the Christian barbarism” was years ago.”That’s fair.
But look at other more recent barbarism by “civilized” non-Muslims.The Japanese are a sweet, polite and gentle people…until they put on a uniform!In WWII, when Marines were missing, their fellow Marines would go out and look for them.They found their buddies decapitated with their own genitals in their mouths, courtesy of Buddhist soldiers.Our Marines decided, from that point on, to “take no prisoners.”You don’t mess with Marines.Can you blame them for calling them “Japs”?Now did the sweet Japanese act out of their religion, Buddhism, whose central tenet is to respect all “sentient beings.”The Japanese “folks” that did this were not terrorists.They were soldiers in uniform, in a chain of command.Muslims never commit such grotesque atrocities, either in uniform or terrorists.Castration?Clearly Muslims are morally superior to the Japanese and Islam is more humane than Buddhism and Christianity.Also, can you name 5 women who were decapitated by Muslims? No!OK, you point out Saddam’s two psychopathic sons,Hoodoo and Voodoo.They raped and killed women.Look, they were dyslexic and reversed the principals of Islam.They had a disability!They needed accommodations which they didn’t get!
5) Now isn’t the Christian tradition to “rape and pillage” worse than decapitation?Only men are decapitated.Now it is true, some Christians were conscientious objectors and raped but refused to pillage.And other thoughtful men found rape objectionable but relished pillaging. I concede that point.And true, the Palestinian terrorists, Hamas and Hezbollah, try to kill Israeli children at every opportunity, but the terrorists make a good point—these babies will one day be soldiers so why not make a pre-emptive strike and kill them when they are young?Irrefutable logic.
More on the Christian practice of “drawing and quartering.”Can you imagine how long it takes to die by this method?The arms go first, then later, the legs.Then you have to bleed to death—a screaming limbless torso, courtesy of European “culture.”It might take 10 minutes from the time the horses pull.(PETA would kill these Christians for forcing horses to do this and traumatizing them.)Muslim decapitation is much more humane because 30 seconds after the first cut, you are unconscious.If anesthesia were available, I am sure the Muslims would use it, but anesthesia is not in their budget.Osama has bucks, but not unlimited bucks.Money is tight and his cave is drafty.His sniffles just won’t go away.
Now “cutting to the chase,” I’d say that our Muslim brothers are taking the high moral ground in decapitating by pocket knife.Other Christian and Roman practices like (Christian) burning at the stake, the rack (and pinion); and drawing and quartering; (Roman) crucifixion; and Japanese bayoneting or decapitation by sword while the victim kneels, hands tied behind the back, are much more cruel than Muslim beheading.Finally, one might ask “why is taking the head legal in Islam but “giving head” a sin?That, dear reader, is the subject of our next lesson.
Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about.
World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case) EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today.
USA says on 2012-02-11 21:47:35 about PdRKHbNJgMCNsQhTiV
Ny1PII Left on my site a link to this post. I think many people will be interested in it..!!
Hussain says on 2010-12-16 03:07:16 about decapitation
well, noone has the right to say anything about any religion or culture. What Islam says, that is important and respectable for its believers. u don't have the right to abuse. that represents you and what u have been taught. Islam never criticises any religion, unless something actually wrong is being done. so everybody! mind ur language.
DevilGal says on 2010-08-27 09:57:04 about Decapitation
Ok, and can see that some of us are too dumb to get this. This is called satire. It is funny. Satire is when you joke about or make fun of certain aspects of culture, by the use of humor. You argue for the opposite side to which you actually believe in and thus show how ridiculous certain things are. I don't think there should be anything we can't joke about, if there is, what is the point of even having comedy. Nobody deserves to die, be nuked, burn in hell ect. You just cannot dismiss an entire culture because you are too stupid and closed minded to realise that it is a few out of millions who kill. And if you look at it from their point of view, they truly believe that they are doing good. They want too do good. They are really good (if misguided) people. Some one once said that without religion, good people would do good things and bad people would do bad things, but only with religion, do good people do bad things.
papaben says on 2010-07-15 12:41:11 about Muslim
Don't tell me that Muslims do not interfere or do anything about other religions. It is there way or no way you asshole.
Peace says on 2010-04-14 02:22:00 about Religion
There's only one reason for this fucked up world...... Religion.
using freedom of speech says on 2009-09-01 14:03:17 about this piece of shit
decapitation is not a laughing matter. jokes shouldnt be made about it. why dont you think of the pain of getting your head cut off then having to look at your own body for 30 seconds, it would be hell. killing would never be acceptable to god. be faced with your own mortality some day and when it comes you wont think its to funny. if thats the case all the muslims should get quartered and decapitated in those last 10 minutes
mark a. gordon says on 2009-07-24 11:35:41 about yeshua HaMaschiach
"What were these “Christians” thinking? Did they put Jesus on hold?"
yes they did.
The Holy Bible (the true Word of the Lord Almighty God) John 1:47 states:
"Look, a true Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit." -The Messiah speaking of Nathan
John 4:19-26
“Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” Jesus declared, “Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus declared, “I who speak to you am he.” -The Messiah talking with a Samaritan woman
HOLY HOLY HOLY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY AND THE LAMB WHO GAVE HIS LIFE TO PAY FOR OUR SIN. NO MORE SACRIFICES!!! ONLY HUMILITY AND OBEDIENCE TO OUR SAVIOR. HALLELUJAH!
Even if they cut off our heads nothing can stop the promises of our Lord for He is Truth.
John 14:5-12:
"Thomas said to Him, Lord, we do not know where You are going, so how can we know the way? Jesus said to him, I am the Way and the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father except by (through) Me. If you had known Me [had learned to recognize Me], you would also have known My Father. From now on, you know Him and have seen Him. Philip said to Him, Lord, show us the Father [cause us to see the Father--that is all we ask]; then we shall be satisfied. Jesus replied, Have I been with all of you for so long a time, and do you not recognize and know Me yet, Philip? Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say then, Show us the Father? Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in Me? What I am telling you I do not say on My own authority and of My own accord; but the Father Who lives continually in Me does the ([a]His) works (His own miracles, deeds of power). Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me; or else believe Me for the sake of the [very] works themselves. [If you cannot trust Me, at least let these works that I do in My Father's name convince you.] I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone steadfastly believes in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father.
macaroni says on 2009-02-27 22:57:40 about beheading
rot in hell bastards-
we should nuke you all-
voiceless says on 2008-01-07 18:34:43 about waste of time
Alot of dancing around to try to make a point. When will a certain religions god step forward and and the debate? End the denominations and different beliefs. man wrote these books and man brainwashes man. The only power on this planet is money and those who wield power are undeniably wealthy. Those without power seek a meaning to a life given to them that promised them nothing. Enter religious fanaticism, and watch them cling to it's breast as terrified orphans, they are all so focused on a better life after this one that they all rush to the end they secretly feared all along.
Gabby says on 2008-01-05 13:35:06 about Humor about Muslim fanatics
It's the up close brutality on CIVILIANS which is so shocking and upsetting.
It's true, it's not worse than drawing and quartering, and Japanese castrations and bayonette practice.
But we have to be able to use dark humor and laugh at it otherwise we'd go crazy.
Go for it. Support it and.....enjoy
Heddy says on 2008-01-05 13:31:16 about Let's not lose our heads over this playful article
This proves that humor can be found in anything.
Charlie Chaplin did a comedy about Hitler as did Mel Brooks.
Life is Beautiful did a comedy about the Holocaust.
We need more literate satire like this one.
Keep it up Steve
Heddyi
Susan the Lefty says on 2008-01-05 10:18:31 about Muslim headlessness
Even as a lefty I found this satire irresistable.
Let's see more from this creative writer.
Bob says on 2008-01-05 10:16:59 about Islamic decap.
Good to see that the fine art of satire is still alive.
Howlingly politically incorrect.
To make a humorous satire out of this barbaric practice is a tour de force.
Or tour de farce:)
steve says on 2008-01-05 10:13:31 about Islamic decapitation
Brilliant satire.
Worthy of publication in the Onion or similar humor mag.
Jemal says on 2008-01-02 21:38:50 about decapitation article
I'm Lebanese and I laughed so hard I cried. Defending this practice in the style it was written made me have apoplectic bursts of laughter. I'm Christian, but I think my Muslim friends would crack up if they read it.
Nice job,author.
Please do more.
Ann says on 2008-01-02 21:34:14 about decapitation article
Very funny piece. Well written. The author has a future in writing humor.
Nicely put togther.
Steve says on 2008-01-02 21:31:18 about Lighten up readers!
This piece is a satire. It is against decapitation. It is against the executions by the French and the mutilations by the Japanese.
Satire is making a point which is contrary to the one you are supposedly arguing for. Read Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal." It proposes that Brittish hunger be cured by eating Irish babies which were plentiful. It was a satire. He really didn't really support this ridiculous idea. It is a very famous satire in world literature.
Likewise, the author is not defending the abhorrent practice of decapitations. His arguments in favor of it are absurd and funny. Just reading the title suggests it is absurd and a satire.
Sanity says on 2007-12-24 19:51:43 about Insanity
You're really missing out on one big point here. I mean I don't ususally have to make this obvious to people but apparently most of humanity still hasn't figured out one simple thing; Kiliing people is wrong! You fucking idiot!
The french used to decapitate people? Yeah in the fucking 1700s you insane creep. It is never and will never ever ever be ok for one person to kill another. Get a life. Oh and a brain while you're at it...
Shithead!
Paul says on 2007-12-24 15:39:47 about Insane
Justifying decapitation as part of a religious practice is insane. This is not even funny or humorous. Get a life you fucking liberal piece of shit. These people and their children deserve nothing short of being burnt alive.
gerard pawling says on 2007-12-24 12:08:52 about headless
DSE is the world's largest international trade show and conference dedicated to digital signage, interactive technology and digital out-of-home networks and it will be taking place from March 6 to March 9, 2012.
Argonaut Genre:Alternative The band are led by Core Members, Lorna (Vocals & Synths) an...
The Kut Genre:Alternative As three female musicians on the London circuit, questions l...
The Exits Genre:Electronic Genre: Electro / Indie / Rock
Location Portsmouth, South, U...
Trip Effect Genre:Rock A power trio that mashes up alternative/indie/rock with warm...
Jim Scordilis Genre:Rock jimscordilis@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/jimscordil...
Valadis Gaoutsis Genre:Rock Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Valantis-G...
