Get a Life with LavaLife

Apparently “Lavalife is a new vision for single life.” So this budding-journalist decided to take an inside look at the innovative online community that is captivating Australians, with already 100,000 active members.

Lavalife Australia, launched in 2000, is based out of Sydney as part of Lavalife Corp. – one of the world's largest meeting services for singles – headquartered in Toronto, Canada. In addition to their online service, Australians can also access Lavalife via telephone.

Until recently it had never occurred to me that I was the ‘type’ to use online dating. I hadn’t even used MSN since 2002! However, one lonely Sunday afternoon after recently having my heart stomped on, a girlfriend and I hit the vodka and started messing around on the Lavalilfe website.
 

The image I have of online dating is generally a negative one and understandably, as according to the Creative Industries online publication Media Culture, “approximately 50% of web users admit to lying online — typically about physical characteristics and attributes.”
 

Nevertheless online dating is becoming increasingly popular because “the virtual space provides a refuge for individuals who are unconfident or ashamed of [any] ‘imperfections’.” Therefore by utilizing the Lavalife website as a communication channel individuals are able to reveal hidden sides of character, and share intimate secrets and emotions.

So using the Lavalife website my friend and I created a unique profile specific to the three categories available (dating, relationships and intimate encounters). I was asked to include a nickname, opening line, short personal blurb, personal details (height, age, ethnic background) plus a number of detailed questions regarding pastimes.
 

Interestingly, I learnt a lot about myself whilst creating the profiles. Not only was I required to express precise aspects of my personality, but I was obliged to describe myself in a positive manner. By stating my wonderful characteristics I actually began believing them. Thus the Lavalife experience actually enhanced my self confidence.

Whilst we were still creating profiles men were already sending ‘smiles’, mail messages and instant messages asking all manner of things. My favourite would have to be: “I like your shoes, lets have sex.” I am fairly partial to my shoes; suffice to say that he was an instant BLOCK.
 

[BB]

A few days later on a whim I decided to log on and check my messages. To my utter amazement I had a number of messages – the majority of which were men simply seeking a degree of companionship.

Most of their profiles stated such things as “Prince Charming looking for his Princess” or “Wanted lady for fun times…apply within” For this reason I decided to reply (hey it’s free once they contact you) to a number of them.

Even though I was expecting the worst, I found that most of the men simply wanted to chat, have a laugh and maybe get to know a woman who may or may not be their future lady.
 

Although I have come across my share of rather strange fellows, like the man who wrote, “I dreamt about a car, a beach, a river, a skirt exciting....and sexy.....I am so hot for it right now, are you?”

Or those who for example like to imagine me being intimate with someone taboo such as my uncle. Then there was the fellow who sent me a picture of his dog….and this lady friend….well you get the idea I am sure. Thank the Lord for BLOCK.

There also appear to be numerous men that although in a relationship want to “sow their wild oats before committing” so they look for lovers interested in discrete casual encounters to fulfil their sexual desires.
 

These were the men I found truly perplexing, the “attached (partner not included)”. I ask these men if their girlfriends/wives know what they are doing and most are shocked I would ask such a thing. Many explain that their sex lives are “dull”, “boring” and their partners “have no idea what they are doing”. Oh, well that is completely understandable then. Ahem….
 

But, ladies do not despair! The encounters already mentioned are few and far between. One lovely man explained how he remained faithful in a long term relationship until the end, even though his partner was physically unable to have sex. Now this is what I call love.

Another explained that for years he had dated women who were only interested in the way he looked. “This is all well and good when you’re young” he told me, “but now I just wanna settle down, have a family and grow old with someone.” So he created a profile (minus the picture) and has had a number of relationships based on the personality connection found via Lavalife.
 

It can definitely be said that not all the men I’ve met on Lavalife are the lonely heart, sexual deviant fanatics I had always assumed would use online dating. More often than not these men are intelligent, charming, passionate and entertaining. Simply put: with the daily strain of modern life some of the most fabulous men turn to online dating as an uncomplicated trouble-free method to meet single women with similar aspirations.

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